I WANT IT!! I'm so tired of having to obsessively control what I eat - would it be fucking lovely to not have to worry about all this shit and just eat and be fat like normal people? WOULDN'T IT BE MARVELOUS? Alas however, we are resigned to a life of restriction and bones - both of which I want more than anything. To not be controlled by the whims of my body. What does my body know about what makes my brain happy? I'll tell you what - nothing. My brain wants me to eat without thinking and to eat all the delicious, fatty, crispy, crunchy, deep-fried amazing amazingness - all refined carbs - all artificial flavour - all the time. *SIGH* Give me ribs any day. Both the kind you eat and the kind I am longing to see in the mirror every morning.
Today has been a good day - I had half a banana for breakfast, countless cups of tea with milk, my lunch salad, a packet of pom-bears (which incidentally are my new favourite thing - I've always loved them, but now I have realised that they are only 94 cals per pack which is 2.5 times less than normal crisps) and a pear. My total for the day is around 500 and it feels great. This morning when I weighed in - despite my epic peanut butter disaster yesterday at 64.6kg which is 0.3 less than yesterday. Tomorrow I'm hoping that I will have lost, although my progress this week has been less than astounding. I think I may have found someone to cut my hair for free and colour it (which I don't need, but hell - I'm not saying no). The trade off is that I have to be a hair model for a seminar on cutting or something like that. I don't really know the details. I'm not really overly keen on the whole model idea, but since it has nothing to do with my body and everything to do with my hair, I'm keen and I don't care. I just want a really good and preferably free haircut.
I must just say... about my last post about the fat chick with the bad hair on the tube. I actually didn't mind the way that she looked. Honestly I wouldn't have even noticed her - except for the gum chewing. I CANNOT STAND people that chew gum like fucking cows. Honestly, she really did look like a cow chewing the cud. Fucking gum chewers. And karma being the bitch that it is - for my little haterific rantfest yesterday - I stood in a nice fat wad of green gum on the way to my station which is still stuck to the bottom of my shoe. Karma is a fucking whore.
Peace & Love