Thursday, May 2, 2013


Wow, I haven't blogged in like... two weeks. Fuck me. Well, I suppose it has been a very busy few weeks. So let me recall. Firstly, I am a fucking whale of a human being. My friend came down to London this last weekend and all we did was smoke cheddar and eat. But I mean - EAT. Like eating like I've never eaten before. And he is a boy as well, so he just wants to eat all the time and loads of it. So unashamedly, I ate as much as he did... who the fuck am I kidding - I ate way more than he did. And then some. Either way. It was a really nice weekend on the whole and I'm glad he was here. Although to be perfectly honest, I was really happy when he left. I like my own space and what I don't like is not being able to go about my regular life because there is someone in my hair constantly. But oh boy did we eat. And then until today, I have managed to have absolutely no willpower whatsoever. So now I am just huge and enormous. I feel so disgustingly about myself. I can't believe I'm still so fat. My UGW just seems so fucking far away right now.

In other news - work is going amazingly. All things considered. I am doing really really well at the job and my bosses seem to be pleased with the work I am doing. There is a boy in the office that I am secretly crushing on. I don't even know his name. I think it is Dave... or something to that effect. ANYWAY. So I just kinda sit at my desk and look idly at him. He's tall and one of the software programmer guys, yes. Another computer geek. Apparently. I am totally into them - geeks that is. Nerds even. Anyway, so he is tall. And he is a ginger (THE SHAME!!!) - with a kinda hipster beard. I had the perfect opportunity to speak to him the other day - we left the office at the same time and he walked past me - but then I nearly got run over by a car, because I was trying to be a badass. Embarrassed - I thought it best to leave it. But I do get a smile from him whenever I walk past. My mission for next week is to at least find out his name. There is a pubquiz for work on the 13th - so I hope HOPE HOPE he's going to that. Office crushes - cute? Also, I'm going to Hamburg at the beginning of next month for work. So that's pretty fucking epic. And then again in September. The other producer has resigned, so I am taking over her conference. Which is fucking rad. 

In Joe news - yesterday we had the final blow out. Basically, what happened was that he was all in my grill again and I was sort of rethinking my resolve. Then he started acting like a cunt again. I had asked him if he wanted to stay in my flat while I was in Hamburg, because he had mentioned wanting to do a London weekend again soon - and he was all shitty with me. So I may or may not have asked him if he - when he wonders why he is all alone in the world with nothing and no one - whether it crosses his mind that it is because he is a... what was the phrase... OH YES. Belligerent asshole. Or whether that is secondary to his enormous ego and putrid attitude. Needless to say - he was not impressed. So I deleted him off BBM and he deleted me on facebook. I'd say that is that, really. And honestly, I'm totally glad - he is poisonous. What if all men are like Roy? Then I'm fucked. I don't understand why I can't just seem to find the nice normal ones with minimal drama and who aren't emotionally stunted. *sigh* 

And now having been in London for a while now - it seems that I am starting to develop levels of friendship with people to the extent that drama is happening. Oh yes - WAIT. And I got busted with cheddar on me in Leicester square last weekend. Basically, the cutest sniffer dog in the world came to play. The cops just took it away and gave me a warning. But were so fucking nice about it. Needless to say - I shan't be carrying any smokeables on me. Ever again. If I can help it. ANYWAY. Then this chick got really drunk and messed her Chinese all over the table and threw a little epi, because we laughed at her - not in a mean way. But seriously. She thinks she is SO upper crust. I mean. I don't fucking understand it. She is a glorified secretary. And she is an asshole too. Anyway. I got invited to her 30th - shan't be going. Then that same night as the arrest and the drama. I went to drink with my friend Carl. And he came on to me. I turned him down and he got really really shitty with me. So that's another friend that I am not avoiding - I just don't want drama. And it doesn't help that my friend Monika pretty much repeats everything that I say to all our other friends. Not in a malicious way. She kinda assumes that it is her responsibility to fix everything. And oh boy does she try. But it usually backfires. I told her about Friday night - and I had said that Carl was rapey. I mean - he was physically trying to pull my clothes off. Now okay. I know that using that word can be a little confusion - but OBVIOUSLY, I didn't mean that he is a rapist. Just that he was a little too forward and creepy. The message was conveyed to Carl that I had called him a potential rapist. *SIGH* So now obviously - big drama there. Although to be fair - like with Joe - I really couldn't give a continental shit on Saturn to try to rectify or resolve the situation, and so the situation remains. I just hate drama. I'm so over drama. All men are Roy's. Speaking of. It was his birthday yesterday - so he was on my mind. He has been on my mind recently. Mostly, because I am have been single now for about 10 months... Maybe I'll be alone forever. 

OH and there is a bulimic at work. I've noticed that the bathrooms smell like vomit after lunchtime everyday. Whoever you are petal. I SEE YOU! 

Peace and Love
Xo Xo


ednos Linny said...

Glad to hear from you. I was getting a bit concerned I dont log on much but noticed you havent been written the last few times I have. Thanks for the update and glad to hear about your job when you feel good about your job things just go better.

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

i was wondering where you went but your FB makes me realise you're totally fine and your FB pic is adorable
'smoke cheddar.' im guessing its not the cheese OKAY
men. always eating. never putting on proper weight. fuck them.
fuck whats wrong with gingers
those assholes are hot
'belligerent asshole'. yup. this is why i love you FP.
you can always date me
'she thinks she is SO upper crust'
i'd donate a kidney to talk like you for the rest of my life.
you see her.
dear gosh, FP.
-Sam Lupin

yours said...

That's wild about the bulimic at work... I threw up at the bathroom in my old office and I overheard all my catty coworkers trying to figure out who'd thrown up in the bathroom. :/ I was so afraid.
Luckily, I usually got in before everyone else, so if my breakfast needed to come back up, no one was there to notice.
Oy, though.
Funny, too, about the smoking and eating - bahaha. That's generally what I'd do before I'd need my office purge-sessions. Woopsies.