So, great news. On Thursday I had my interview with a renewable energy company and they absolutely loved me. They offered me a second interview on the spot, which will be later this week at some point. I just have to complete a mock up of a conference document so that they can see how epic my skills really are. The salary is a lot better than what I was expecting in the first place and it was natural and easy. Also, there is only myself and two other people that have been invited back for a second interview, so I'm going to make sure that I knock the mock up out of the park. I'm determined. Eat my shorts. Anyway, so that is really epic and then I have a different interview on Wednesday morning for a publishing job. Both jobs in fact are for big publishing companies, but I really want the eco-job more than the publishing job. For realsies.
Anyway, which brings me to the not so nice part of this post. My weight. I'm fat and disgusting. As a means to celebrate my success on Thursday, I bought a little bag of cabbage, which lasted me till Sunday. And so on Thursday, Friday and Saturday - I ate. And I ate. And I ate. And I ate. And just when I thought I may be sick, I ate some fucking more. I'm really disgusting. I'm too scared to weigh myself. Yesterday I had about 900 cals and then today I've had about the same. I'm so gross. I don't know what is wrong with me. I just don't know. I'm just going to be this hopeless fat piggy for forever. But refocusing and it's been two days without a binge now, so hopefully I can just keep it going, lower my intake to around 600 and it will be fine. I know I have to succeed this week, because no one will want to hire a fat blob of a mess. I don't want to wonder if I didn't get the job because of how I look. I mean, I KNOW that it isn't the way it works, but you know how you think. And I know I'll find a way of blaming my weight if I don't get it. So I need to be thin again, and I need to make sure that I do this project like a fucking boss.
Love & Fat. Just lots and lots of FAT.