Monday, March 11, 2013

Lets Not Talk About Weight

So, great news. On Thursday I had my interview with a renewable energy company and they absolutely loved me. They offered me a second interview on the spot, which will be later this week at some point. I just have to complete a mock up of a conference document so that they can see how epic my skills really are. The salary is a lot better than what I was expecting in the first place and it was natural and easy. Also, there is only myself and two other people that have been invited back for a second interview, so I'm going to make sure that I knock the mock up out of the park. I'm determined. Eat my shorts. Anyway, so that is really epic and then I have a different interview on Wednesday morning for a publishing job. Both jobs in fact are for big publishing companies, but I really want the eco-job more than the publishing job. For realsies. 

Anyway, which brings me to the not so nice part of this post. My weight. I'm fat and disgusting. As a means to celebrate my success on Thursday, I bought a little bag of cabbage, which lasted me till Sunday. And so on Thursday, Friday and Saturday - I ate. And I ate. And I ate. And I ate. And just when I thought I may be sick, I ate some fucking more. I'm really disgusting. I'm too scared to weigh myself. Yesterday I had about 900 cals and then today I've had about the same. I'm so gross. I don't know what is wrong with me. I just don't know. I'm just going to be this hopeless fat piggy for forever. But refocusing and it's been two days without a binge now, so hopefully I can just keep it going, lower my intake to around 600 and it will be fine. I know I have to succeed this week, because no one will want to hire a fat blob of a mess. I don't want to wonder if I didn't get the job because of how I look. I mean, I KNOW that it isn't the way it works, but you know how you think. And I know I'll find a way of blaming my weight if I don't get it. So I need to be thin again, and I need to make sure that I do this project like a fucking boss. 

Love & Fat. Just lots and lots of FAT. 
Xo Xo

9 comments:

ShyBones said...

Good luck with your second interview sweet, remember the interview is something to look thin for. A goal. bare love

loveylou said...

You are gonna rock their mother fucking socks off I just know!! I'd wish ya luck but we all know you don't need it. Stay focused and you'll be so confident they'll be begging ya!
love always
xoxo

Skylar Rainn said...

Grazties on the interview, you'll nail it.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one who's been eating like crazy

Judith Marie said...

Woot! on the interview, and on the weight front, don't worry, everyone has these moments where we eat heaps. As long as we trend downwards in the long run, it's all that matters. Don't beat yourself up about it, you'll do better tomorrow. I've been eating like mad for the past 2 days.

Kalypso said...

900 kcal per day won't make you gain any weight!
If you had had ate like more than2000, then ir would have been possible:P

Kalypso said...

And I'm really sorry for all the misspellings; i'm from finnland....:D

Miranda said...

I overdid it on the weekend too and I so hate myself for it. Congrats on doing so well with the job hunt so far.

Emily Anonymous said...

Good luck on the interview!
I'm very impressed- your binge is still a weight-loss intake. You should be proud you didn't eat like 3000 calories. You're doing really well, don't let the bad day get your down :)

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

that's news - who wouldn't love you, FP??
i don't think eating your shorts is a good source of nutritional fibre
love i think you're confused you couldn't be fat if you tried
WHAT FAT DO YOU MEAN
- Sam Lupin