I am literally fucking shocked after all the shenanigans last night that this morning I stepped onto the scale and I had lost almost 1lb. My weight this morning was 63.8kg. Which is fucking marvelous. I have this awful, AWFUL feeling that when I weigh tomorrow though it is going to be nothing but bad news. But then again, today hasn't been awful, so we shall see tomorrow morning. Today, I've had 750 calories. Which included a tuna salad, chicken and sweetcorn soup and my usual coffees. I've been trying to eat at least three meals a day and I would like to add two fruits in the morning for breakfast to make it a three meal day. Which really kinda disgusts me, but I think that if you can make your disordered eating somewhat normal or comparable to regular eating then it will be sustainable. I'm not sure but at the moment it is working and it has been a consistent process of loss. Today is also my fifth day in a row without binging and all I want is cheesy nachos. I have an interview on Thursday, so maybe if it goes well or if I get the job, then I will reward myself with the nachos. It just seems so stupid to reward yourself with fat eating. But then, I will have to binge again at some point. I think the only certainty that we have as ED people is that we will binge again. Also, please go visit Winter's page. She seems to be having a bit of a hard time and I know she could use the support - we all know what it is like to feel lost within oneself.
Peace & Love