Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Would'ya Believe It

I am literally fucking shocked after all the shenanigans last night that this morning I stepped onto the scale and I had lost almost 1lb. My weight this morning was 63.8kg. Which is fucking marvelous. I have this awful, AWFUL feeling that when I weigh tomorrow though it is going to be nothing but bad news. But then again, today hasn't been awful, so we shall see tomorrow morning. Today, I've had 750 calories. Which included a tuna salad, chicken and sweetcorn soup and my usual coffees. I've been trying to eat at least three meals a day and I would like to add two fruits in the morning for breakfast to make it a three meal day. Which really kinda disgusts me, but I think that if you can make your disordered eating somewhat normal or comparable to regular eating then it will be sustainable. I'm not sure but at the moment it is working and it has been a consistent process of loss. Today is also my fifth day in a row without binging and all I want is cheesy nachos. I have an interview on Thursday, so maybe if it goes well or if I get the job, then I will reward myself with the nachos. It just seems so stupid to reward yourself with fat eating. But then, I will have to binge again at some point. I think the only certainty that we have as ED people is that we will binge again. Also, please go visit Winter's page. She seems to be having a bit of a hard time and I know she could use the support - we all know what it is like to feel lost within oneself. 

Peace & Love 
Xo Xo

7 comments:

Melanie Jackson said...

Just wanted to say that I started following your blog and I love it <3 I'm only starting mine up atm.

You're awesome and so inspiring!

You go girl xxx

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

only you, FP.
GIVE ME YOUR WEIGHT INSTEAD OF TEASING ME DAMMIT
i hate messy food that includes cheesy nachos
i actually feel like i eat a shit tonne when i eat like 4 or 5 meals a day which i do cause im constantly munching on something!
aww i have :( poor angel
-Sam Lupin

loveylou said...

Trying to eat as normal as you can (within an ED) is TOTALLY the best way to keep sustainable and away from binging. I know people say a calorie is a calorie, but it totally matters where it comes from. Think of your body like a robot, it will compute and take orders if you punch in the correct code. The code you put in, is your nutrition. Vitamines and minerals and all those healthy good stuff do have a purpose in helping you lose weight and metabolize fats and what not. Nutrition is actually a very interesting thing, I love to spend hours on Pinterest on the Health & Fitness section reading articles and going over recipes like food porn, or adapting them to make them healthy so I don't go over my limit but feel indulging.
Check this out: http://www.infofit.ca/craving-that-try-this-instead/
It's a chart that tells you EXACTLY what your body needs, when you crave certain shitty foods. It's your body's way of telling your brain that it needs more of something, but our own habits and food addictions get in the way so we misinterpret the signals, and binge on bad food, when really we're lacking certain nutrients. )Duh, from starving ourselves, but its the price of beauty sometimes oh god, I swear I just sent feminism back like 25 years, sorry!) Plus is tells you what to eat instead to get that good shit to stop craving bad stuff.
Love always!
loveylou
http://the-beauty-of-bones.blogspot.ca/

loveylou said...

end rant, with apologies for the preachy, talk-show voice I just pictured while re-reading that

Butterfly Unfolding said...

My body is having a fucking laugh at the moment, it's up and down all over the place. I feel your pain.

Honor Regzig said...

The human body is a very strange thing. The female human body even more so. Good thing I like mysteries ^_^

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