Saturday, March 30, 2013

So it's over.

Joseph and I are done. It's a bit of a fucked up story, but bear with me. Okay. So on Thursday night, I went to a friends house... the one with the seriously hot housemate who I hooked up with two weeks ago. Anyway, long story short, it kinda happened again. And like before, I told Joe about it. Then he got furious, like super fucking angry and so I asked him if it was about me and Stuart - he said no. He said it was about the fact that he felt trapped up North and his life was meaningless blah blah, wank. Fair enough, so now I knew at the time that he was jealous and it was redirected anger whatever, but I didn't say anything because I am not his mother, I'm not there to mollycoddle him and if he is jealous and doesn't want me to see other people, then he needs to say so. I'm abso-fucking-lutely not going to try and understand what the hell is going on in his head and play psychic so that he can get away with acting like a child throwing a tantrum. Anyway. So then I offered to let him come stay with me when he comes down for as long as he liked, as long as he promised to move out at some point and that there was no expectation of any serious relationship or anything like that. So I mean, I've never lied to the man, in my mind, I've done everything that I can do to help him. I have told him repeatedly that I'd be bleak if he boned other people even though he obviously could, that I'd want to date him properly once he was here, etc etc. I've given him a hundred purposeful opportunities to try and tell me that how he felt about the whole situation which he hasn't. ANYWAY, so then yesterday after we spoke and I calmed him down it was all fine. Until later when we were chatting again and the subject of myself and Stuart came up - and he just ignored me. Roy used to ignore me. I don't respond well to being ignored. Anyway, so then today I tuned him about it and basically just told him all of this and he explained his side of it. STILL not saying that he was jealous or anything like that. Just that he didn't want to talk to me anymore. But that he's over it. And then he very nonchalantly added that if he wanted to ignore me, that was just what he was going to do. To which I said: No. No, you won't. Because dudes, let me tell you. It is the single greatest fucking thing that I hate more than any other emotional response in the world, is being ignored. So he said: Watch me. And I ended it. All of the crap and emotional fucktardery that Roy put me through has at least shown me that I will not tolerate that kind of emotional retardation in a partner even again. I'm not one's doormat and I'm not going to let him treat me that way. No one is going to treat me that way ever again. I have been nothing but honest and amazing to Joe and that's what I got. Kinda sad, kinda irritating. But I deserve better. So that's that. *semi-sad panda*

Peace & Love
Xo Xo


loveylou said...

So proud of you standing up for yourself!
Rock that

annamaria said...

good job girl!
stay out of such dramas; the more you let them in your life, the more they will appear in it.

Lena said...

Wow. The "Watch me" would have had me flipping shit, for real. Sucks that it had to end like this, but, like you said, if he's gonna be an emotional retard and resort to ignoring you when he doesn't want to come clean about how he feels, well then F him.

Christina said...

"Watch me" Me-OW. Grats for doing what you thought was right. Proud of you. :)

~Nessa~ said...

Wowsers. Go you! I'm fist pumping for your awesomeness.

The-Final-Time said...

You go girl! Dont take any crap you deserve the world!

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

'blah blah blah wank'.
you are my lover.
ohhhhhhhhhh a little teasing, a little jealousy.
love, i don't blame him. i'd be jealous too if someone had you in their arms (*cough*i already am*cough*).
yup. you don't deserve that kinda crap! stick it in their balls <3
-Sam Lupin

Tatyana said...

So right thing to do for that, no one should be anyone's emotional toy! <3