Friday, December 9, 2011

And that's that

There was sex last night also. It was awesome. But today I payed the deposit on my new place, and that - it would seem - is that. I am a little sad that he didn't ask me to stay. I'm sad that he doesn't want me here. I don't understand what the past two days have been about. But it is over. And that is that. I am also now broke for the rest of the month. Fuck fuck. And as soon as I get my next salary - that will also go to the rest of my deposit and rent. Fuck fuck.

Weight is unstable. I haven't been trying. I am going to start a fruit fast tomorrow. Will just start with tomorrow and Sunday. Will see after Sunday how I feel and possibly do a raw three days. Or something.

I'm really happy because I am moving out and moving on. But I am also really sad. :(

Happiness & Despair
Xo Xo

6 comments:

pursuit_of_happiness said...

i tots understand. your doing the rite thing and know in the long run its better for you, but rite now its hard to just move on like that. our emotions unfortunately don't work on a switch...stay strong <3

Thin Thoughts said...

NEW BEGINNINGS!! YEY FOR YOU!!!
I have been MIA because I have been gross and fat and don't think that I can be of any inspiration or help to anyone on here. But Now I'm back and have to lose MORE weight!
You inspire me so keep smiling :)
xx
-G

miss alisha said...

At least you've got your own place now and you're moving on. I'm glad for you. You need this. It'll be good. I think you're gonna be just fine. It'll be tough in the beginning, but it'll work out. You're lucky to have your own place. Take care of yourself, love.
xx

ps. how old are you?

Dumb Brunette said...

Try and look at it like a fresh start. You get to cast off the baggage of an old relationship that wasn't that healthy for you anyway, and start again in a new place. You're going to be fine.

Best of luck!

By All Means said...

moving on is always hard because its unknown and its so easy and comfortable to just stay with what we know. But starting over and not knowing whats coming is exciting! You can do this and you have us all here to help you through it as well.

Good luck!

Judith Marie said...

It'll be a brand new start hun! You're an amazing person and you can totally have everything you want in life!

You might be moving away from the familiar, but into exciting new waters! I'm so glad you're better!