I was wondering you know, about how it is that you are motivated for a while and then you lose it and fatten up. Then reading some of the other blogs (I FINALLY GOT A CHANCE TO CATCH UP - FUCK YEAH!) and I noticed that everyone is in a similar cycle at the moment. What do I mean? The last week has been a 'I reached my GW1 and now I can eat a little more' funk - then I looked in the mirror and my god, I have put on like 4lbs in this last week and I LOOK LIKE DUMBOS BIG SISTER FATPIGLEPHANT! Anyway. But I know that I have done this before. Where you get down to a nice weight *starve starve starve starve* and then you let it go for a while, fatten up, pig out, stretch those piggy thighs and then get a shock when you see yourself or weigh yourself and you are a fat fucking disgusting pig - then the cycle starts again. You gain motivation. Start the three day fasts, fruit fasts, soup diets, juice fasts, ABC, SGD, water fast, 500-cal restrictions. You know what I mean?
That's where I am today. I got my period yesterday - so obviously, I look like a blue whale. So today, I am either going to 500 cal it, or I am going to fruit fast - coffee and diet coke fast. Maybe. Either way. If I don't lose by tomorrow, then I am going to fast tomorrow. Actually, I think I am feeling a fruit fast. I really enjoyed it last time. I am so fat. :(
SO, a couple of things. I am so terrible at responding to comments, it is fucking disgusting. I am 24. Also, if you want to BBM me, email me your pin, or leave yours, I dunno. I am keen. :) I really enjoy talking to my George on BBM, so I am assuming everyone is just that awesome. Life has been so hectic and busy lately that I haven't had a chance to get back to emails from people and I am so sorry if I haven't. Also I am finding it hard to keep up with the blogs of my new followers. I haven't even looked at most of the new profiles. So please, if your blog is awesome and inspirational and amazing - as all my followers are :D then leave a comment and I shall check it out.
People are at me about my weight. My ex said I look like a heroine addict. People are saying I am TOO thin. OH yes, which brings me to my next point. I always think that once my BMI hits 18.5 then I will be skinny looking. I didn't account for the lbs leading up to that, that maybe I already look skinny. Which you know, fuck it, I don't think I do. My mother told me that I look shocking, my best friends are at me about it - although the one is just worried that my 'bulimia' will become dangerous and the other I am sure is just really jealous that I am thinner than her for once. Suck it up and starve bitch. I love her - so this isn't meant in a bad way. But if you are jealous, then put down that fucking cheese sandwich for god sakes.
Enough ranting from me for today I think.
Love & Skinny