I started writing about the fucked up evening that happened with the ex last night. But I don't have the energy to rehash what happened yesterday. *sigh* Anyway, suffice to say that I think one of two things is going to happen today - either we are going to decide that this is ALL over. No more. Or we will try work it out. Personally, and I know this is fucking stupid with everything that has happened, I want it to work. I love him with all my heart. But obviously, that isn't necessarily enough.
Yesterday I had an apple, two litchies, two plums, a handful of crisps and a veggie spring roll. I had planned a fruit fast but alas, that did not work out. But then fate intervened, because I wanted to eat yesterday, no doubt about that. But then my ex, who works at the same restaurant walked past me while I was eating the spring roll like a fat little pig and said something about all the fat on my hips. Well. Fuck him. So I decided to not eat anymore which I didn't. And lo and behold I was rewarded this morning when I stepped on the scale I weighed 59.6kg. Which means I am 4lbs down from yesterday - food weight - must've been. And that is just fantastic. Also means my BMI is now 18.8. Can I get a FUCK YEAH!?
Today I am going to fruit fast again. Although, I had a cup of tea with milk. I just needed it. But I think I can hit the fruit decently, cuz I bought a whole bunch including loads of mangoes. Anyway. *sigh* I feel so despondent. I don't know why. *SIGH*
I will post again a bit later maybe when I feel a bit inspired. *sigh* Cheers to the freakin' weekend!
Strength & Love