Monday, December 19, 2011

Fuck B

So first off, I am stoned off my ass right now, so the following will most likely be a combination of outbursts and giggles. My apologies in advance.

I think perhaps I swear too much. I just received a comment from Little Miss Thin <3 - thanks doll :D Anyway, so my mother is worried about my little sister having an eating disorder. She has recently lost about 10lbs, and is going through a rough patch with my whole suicide thing. Which she dealt with by deleting me off BBM and Facebook - I mean, what the fuck!? We haven't said a word to each other since it happened, not even a "hello". We flat out ignore each other, it is really sad. ANYWAY, so mother thinks she's not eating properly. Funny. Twenty minutes before this conversation, I was in the doctors office with her getting anti-anxiety medication and the doctor asked me flat out if I had an eating disorder, I was like... "uhhhhh.... *LONG PAUSE*... I have eating issues." So when we were in the car, she said "I don't need another child with an eating disorder." And I am like starting to get a bit uncomfortable and having to try really hard to not scream out loud "FUCK!!!!" I don't want her to know about it, she will never leave me alone. She already talks about my 'condition' (i.e. my alleged borderline personality disorder) in every damn conversation. And you know, it sucks - but it is really cool how much she's into it. Like - she is trying so hard to understand, and while her and I will never get along. It really does show she cares. Which is rad. Good mom vibes.

ANYWAY, so about my sisters possible eating disorder. I was like "FUCK FUCK I need to lose 4 now." No fucken way can she be the skinniest sister. FUCK THAT!! So I think after like a week of binge eating, I finally found some motivation. And she is shorter than me, so she will look smaller. Sonuvabitch! I realise this is probably not the appropriate reaction. I mean, I am concerned, but I don't think I need worry honestly. This sister is just not that kind of person... I dunno. Anyway. NOT important.

I went out on Saturday night and got bought drinks the entire evening. But obviously I can't drink so I threw them away. Whoops. It was nice feeling pretty. But I pretty much just wanted to go cuddle with my ex instead. My best friend is getting rather large. She is crossing over into the higher BMI's. But she refuses to dress differently and wears really tiny clothing that is just not looking good. I don't know if I should say something. Like, if she thinks she is dead sexy and confident and shit, I don't want to ruin it by telling her she is a bit... hippo-esk. God, I am a horrible person. SERIOUSLY, I know I sound like such a bitch. I am aware. FUCK FUCK. Bunnies, I love bunnies.

Anyway, I think I best just leave this here for now. The stuff is called purple haze - and let me tell you. IT. IS. AWESOME. Much love to all me ladies, I have been reading dear petals, but I am failing so miserably at not being a ginormous elephant pig that I find it difficult to motivate. :( But I am reading.

Peace & Bubbles
Xo Xo

4 comments:

Judith Marie said...

Hun,
Firstly, I think you have one hell of a head start on your sister. And being smaller doesn't mean she'll look smaller. Being taller emphasizes the skinniness because of the whole super long thin limbs thing. I've never ever really thought a short person was that thin. But there are heaps of tall, thin people. This is because I look at a short person and go, well, they're short, they should be thin anyway because they can't be fat and short.
Totally sucks that I'm short.
Secondly, I can't believe your mother! She's a bit...I dunno. To notice a 10lb weight loss on your sister but not notice what you've been doing for so long is just stunning to me. I think your sister is just doing it in reaction to what has happened to you. It's not uncommon. Maybe in her own strange way, she's trying to understand what you are going through. Doesn't mean she's disordered, just that she's stressed.
Thirdly, about your fat friend, I never mention to my friends when I see them gain weight. I just don't know how to bring it up. However, if she's likely to be insulted for it, then it might be softer if you hint at it a bit?
Thanks for all your support. I've been going through madness lately and you've always been there for me! Much love to you!

❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

really?
eating disorder?
gahhh. if i were you, i would've burned your sister, babe. i really...really...really...when i think about it, if my sister starts not eating a lot and people notice, i'd cry - because i've had it for too damn long and nobody noticed a fucking thing.
*sighs softly*
taller people actually look smaller because their height helps them look like so.
aweee.
if she was gaining weight, all i'd feel was relief that she wasn't fatter than me to be honest, but hey, better to hear it from you then to hear it from some drunk on the street, right??

<3 Sam Lupin

ednos Linny said...

I hate that when someone drops a few pounds and everyone is like OMG she is starving...she not starving good lord lol. I say I have eating issues also lol how odd. OK well write when you can and take it easy!

VictoriaCrimson said...

Ugh, trust me: having a skinnier sister is awful. Don't mention anything to your friend- she probably is struggling with her weight gain on her own and will (hopefully) pull herself back together soon enough.

xo!