Ever feel like your life is something like the Dow Jones or FTSE? I fucking do. I feel like everything in my life is a fucking stock market index and it goes up generally, but there are always fucking falls and occasionally a huge fucking crash. I'm hating everything at the moment. Men, myself, work, EVERYTHING. The German and I just fight all the time and last night I basically broke up with him, because I'm not waiting for two years for him to finish his phd and being content with a random weekend here and there. The Pole is just annoying so basically that is just adding to my constant irritation. My new boss started and she is one of those passive aggressive nice people who can't give a straight answer... although I suspect that secretly, I want to be the smartest person in the team and I feel like she may be better than me, even though she's my boss. God, I'm too competitive. Anyway, so I have resolved to update my CV by the end of the week and start applying for new jobs. Since the German isn't happening anymore, there is no reason for me to stick around and I'm sure that there is something amazeballs out there.
I also completely fucked up last night and ended up eating a shiton of stuff. I find that if I eat during the day, the rest of the day and night becomes a free for all and I just eat a fuckload. Anyway, so that happened last night and I didn't dare weigh my fat self this morning. I have however managed to fast the entire day today and I'm going to have some pineapple later if I can't stand it anymore. I'm hoping that tomorrow won't be that bad. CRY. I fuck it up everytime. But I am resolute. I can still be below 60 by the end of the month. I can and I will be.
Grumpasaurus & Cryceratops