Thursday, February 23, 2012

And then...

I had a two am meltdown of hysterical crying. Basically wondering if I would ever be happy ever again. And whether any person would make me as happy as my ex did. Wow. What a fail evening. The conclusion that I have come to though is that it is okay to be sad. To be hurting and to feel alone. And I think maybe instead of trying to run from those feelings or to numb them with booze or drugs - maybe I should embrace them and accept that it is okay to feel that way. I feel like this is quite a revelation.

So after my post last night I ate another two plums - I think and two cups of tea. So I think my overall calorie intake was around 500. But then I did exercise, so net was less. Today I had a mango (which I found out is a negative calorie food as hard as it is to believe) and half a cuppa and now I'm drinking coffee. So yes, we are doing well today so far. Weigh in this morning was 58.9kg. Hopefully by Saturday I can be in the 57's. Then Monday when I see that stupid bitch with no soul I'll be at least 56. Fuck you I don't need to put on weight, you degenerative give doctors a bad name. Incidentally. Her surname is Hoare. Pronounced Whore. Yes. FUCKING WHORE!

Anyway. Enough of that!

Love & Butterflies
Xo Xo


Anonymous said...

I think that's a fantastic revelation. I wish I was strong enough to try to accept That sad and lonely feeling I get occasionally. I hope you get to the weight you want for Monday! :)
Oh and You seriously could never be a douche. I actually appreciate the concern and advice I get because no one has to care since they've never actually met me. So don't feel bad! I appreciate it 100%!!

Anonymous said...

Whore. Ouch.


take care, hun~

AVY said...

I can feel that being sad makes me happy, in a strange way. I don't want to be cheerful all the time, sadness is pretty.


Lila said...

I know all to well the feelings on numbing life with booze

❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

that's quite the revelation, babe. booze on the way.
-George DiCaprio
PS. <3 i love youuuu.

Charlotte said...

Girl ur blog is thinspiring!... Pleas follow mine i need all the helP i can get im soo fat.
Thanks and please dont stop writting!

Charlotte said...

Hey email me :)...