I don't even know where to start about this weekend. Fuck. First off, apologies for not posting yesterday, my fucking laptop decided that it no longer wants to work. So I had to high tail it off to my me ma's house to fetch another, and then was like. No, this charger is the same as mine, take it home. It didn't fucking work. So fucking hell after all of that. Bullshitty balls.
Anyway, so I went to a trance party on friday night with this girl who is fucking irritating as balls. On the plus side however she bought me a little something something so it was fine. Anyway, so basically just lost my shit on friday. The sad thing is that I was embarassingly fucked. Like I had so much ganja, too much mdma, too much alcohol. There was however a very beautiful, 19 year old australian boy with a bieber hair cut (okay I am NOT a mutha fucken Belieber. But it's a cute hair cut. Whatever) - and I can't stop thinking about him. His name was George. I didn't get his number or anything, cuz I was like bitch, check me out - I am awesome. Which also now makes me sad, cuz he is so stupidly cute and awesome. Anyway, far too fucked. The 22 year old beautiful blonde boy was there as well. He isn't going to be an easy nut to crack. So I think... I think I am going to have to accept this one as my challenge and move from there.
On Saturday, much of the same really. This fucken bitch whore that I went out with on friday came along again and tried to jack the man I was making out with - SO. I stole him back and made him tell me that I am hotter than her. I know this sounds so conceited. But she is 10 inches (yes 10!!) shorter than myself and weighs the same. She is a short fat little troll. In WHAT MUTHA FUCKEN WORLD DOES SHE THINK SHE CAN BAT IN THE SAME FUCKEN LEAGUE AS ME!!!!? Yes, I am aware that this makes me the worlds most arrogant fucktwad. But it's true. Bitch mutha fucken please.
Then yesterday was a little interesting, because I went to a braai at the gorgeous blondes house and he is SO weird. But I am almost sure I saw him checking me out. So perhaps there is hope. May see him a little later - going to a group dinner type thing. I don't think I'm gonna go. Anyway.
The housemate has somehow got into his mind that we are "seeing" each other. I am going to have to move out at this rate. I mean really. SEEING each other.
I am so fat. Still fruit fasting, but with all the boozing there was cheating. Fuck my life. I just want to die today. And this morning for the first time I kind of perked up to the idea that perhaps I can still die if I want to, I just need to stop being a pussy about it and just fucken drink poison or something. Instead of the unpredictable world of pills. Also realised that like with last time this happened, I am on a bender again. And I don't want to be.
I can't get meds until next week. I see this week being tough. I just need to stay indoors and watch game of thrones. Going to download some naked thinspo for the lovely flowers that read this dribble. I see on my stats page that it is my highest viewed post. More than double the next closest one.
Love & Boys