WORD! I collected my prescription earlier today, so I have my crazy pills. I found out yesterday that they are a generic of prozac. Oh well. Maybe I am totally fucking mental. Whatever. Today I managed to restrict really well. I had a skinny latte and a punnet of strawberries. I was planning on having soup for dinner, then I went to visit a friend and her housemate shoved a mini cake in front of me. Vanilla with no icing or anything. About half the size of my blackberry. So it was little. And I had just bitched about Kate Middleton being a skinny bitch and "oh! she needs a hamburger", so when I tried to protest about eating it, she gave me a look. So I just fucken ate it. And the crap thing is that now I have NO idea how much was in the small little cake. I'm guessing around 120 cals. And so my total for the day is just under 300. I am kinda hungry and would like some soup, but it's late now and it would push up my total too much. So I had a coke zero and am going to go to sleep now... Well after I read some blogs.
Anyway. So the topic of my blog. I don't really have much to say about it, but I wear a red band around my arm everyday (well I never take it off) and it's my own red bracelet. It's not really. It's just this thing. I dunno. I feel proud to wear it. I'm not pro-ana. This is not a lifestyle I'd want for anyone, but at the same time. I am proud of my willpower. I am proud of the fact that I can overcome the control my body has over me. I can do this. We can do this. So I wear a red band. Kinda reminds me of that Johnny Cash song - The man in black. Something about I wear black for the hundreds who have died believing god was on their side. Anyway. I love that song.
Thanks for all the lovely comments. I'm still job hunting *sigh* But I did get a UK bank account today, so that's a win really. Anyway.
Hunger & Pride