I just joined http://anaprincess.proboards.com/index.cgi - proana forum. Let me just state again that I am not proana. I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but like proana I don't think there is anything wrong with me and I wish people would just leave me alone with regards to my eating. The only reason I participate in things like this forum is because I do believe that support is needed for people like us, because frankly an ED is just a manifestation of something else that is causing a lot of pain and how many blogs I have read including my own where we have given up and ended up in hospital. Some aren't as lucky as I was... well. Lucky. Anyway.
My point is that on this forum there are girls looking for a diet and exercise routine that will help them lose weight. Now, I know this is stating the blatantly obvious, but proana, an Eating Disorder is NO DIET! It is a disease. And it is rough. You don't want to lose 5lbs to look pretty. You lose weight because you are trying to control yourself. For me, my life is out of control and the only thing I feel I can control is what I eat. It obviously isn't as conscious as that. Like I didn't start by saying... hmm... I can't control my drinking or that I have been acting like a dirty ho bag. I know *snap* I'll start obsessively controlling everything that goes into my mouth and bring a new meaning to the words binge eat.
My point is simply that this started as a diet for me when I was 17. Eating nothing but peas for weeks to lose weight. And now I go through cycles of binging and starving. Hating myself for eating. Hating myself for not eating. Being constantly angry about my body and the way it looks. Wanting to look like a skeleton. Never being good enough. So if you are looking for a diet. This is not it. This is not something you just snap out of when you have lost enough. If you are looking for something drastic - stop eating carbs. It is simple and it works. I didn't have the self control for years before I started this blog. Trying to be proana is playing with fire. If you want to recover or if you want to lose some weight, don't look at proana sites. Kids, this is no fucking joke. I am in my mid twenties. You don't want to end up like me.
Love & Peace