Monday, January 28, 2013

Anxieties and Dramas

Something that has been on my mind recently with all the anxiety about returning to Cape Town in April has been the bit about friends or being forgotten, like I'd never left. I wrote about that yesterday. Just to be clear, I'm only going back to visit my family, not permanently or anything. FUCK that shit, they are never trapping me there again. An extension of that of course is making a mental note of the people that you want to see and the people you want to avoid. Now, like I said yesterday. I don't want to be that sad person that tags along to parties I don't want to be at, just for the sake of having a social life while I'm there. But the other side of it, is not wanting to spend time with certain people for the very same reason. I recently found out that my very best friend from university was talking major shit about me before I left, particularly with regards to my weight. Now, fair enough. But I also know, because we've known each other for so long, how jealous she was of me being skinnier than her and how much she loves the skeletal look of models. So, fuck her. Fat bitch. The other thing is that I don't want to be around people who are constantly waiting for me to grow up. For the young readers of this blog, basically what happens when you and your friends finish university is that some of them go off and get 9 -5 jobs, suits. Have kids. Buy cars. No tattoos. No mid-week drinking, no drama. And then there is me, who is determined to not hate my job. I am determined to love what I do and to remain absolutely awesome, rock bottom, crazy, wild and keep my life interesting. Live. Not conform to what our parents generation were like, mediocre careers, wife and two kids. The unfortunate thing is that so many of my Cape Town friends are like that and truly believe that it is the way that life is meant to be lived. So, when I trot in with my white blonde hair, tattoos and stupidly short skirts, fucked eating habits and prattling on about the energies in the universe. Don't forget the fact that I refuse to stop fucking swearing. I don't give a shit. Anyway, they are constantly waiting for me to change, to grow up. Or to conform. Does that make sense?

Anyway, so day 8 of the detox is complete. I've had about 750 cals today, which I'm happy with. To recap, this week is my 800 a day week. It consisted of honey coffee, sesame turkey (which I made myself, no oil or anything), a pear and an orange. There were a lot of cals in the honey today, since I have like half a spoon in my coffee and then there was a whole tbsp in the sesame chicken. Oh and, the biggest news is that since last monday - or since I started the detox, I have lost 4.5lbs. Whoop. Hopefully, I can lose that much this week again. Yeaaaah buddy. 

Thanks to all my followers, new and old. I generally don't answer comments in my posts, since I usually forget what was asked by the time I get round to reading blogs and then writing a new post. But, nonetheless, I always appreciate the feedback and support. If there is anything specific that you guys wanna know from me, you can email me or post in a comment, I'll remember eventually.

Peace & Love
Xo Xo

7 comments:

Katie Elizabeth said...

Congrats on day 8! Way to go! Also, I don't think you should change to "fit" in with their life styles. I love you just the way you are, cuss words and all =) Lots of love.
XOXO

Kay said...

I love your blog. As someone who is also constantly befuddling everyone by refusing to fit in with "the norm," I can totally relate. Here's to being strong, awesome, independent people who know what they love and do what they love! :)

PrettyLies said...

Even though I don't eat meat, sesame turkey made with honey sounds sooooo good. For some reason I've been living off of hummus and bagels and coffee...that's all I've eaten, and that's all I probably will have lol.

And eh, fuck people that say you shouldn't drink or have tattoos. Alcohol and ink are fun.
Love ya hon, take care.

ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

hey at least you got another person that's confirming you're thin ;D because you are angel <3
my life is never interesting. i'm a writer. my life has been and always will be confined to the words i wrote xo
I LOVE SWEARING OKAI
4.5lbs!? you're astounding.
do you think i can lose that much on my weigh-in? i'd be grateful. :P okay, i'll try to be happy if i lose the smallest decibel of a pound.
OKAY K
-George DiCaprio

Sunshinechild said...

Young, wild, and free. That's how I want to live forever. It's funny because my dad has a super serious job yet he never lost his youth. He lives like he's 23 every day of his life. I want to be just like that, ya know? He's never felt the need to act his age yet he's the most responsible guy you've ever met. I feel like I'll never really "grow up". I just want to live on the edge ;) Only you have to like you. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks <3

skinny bitch said...

omg i wish i were like you. i'm one of those boring people who's too scared to do their own thing. i wrote one time "i feel like a rat in society's maze experiment. i feel trapped but i'm too stupid to jump over the edge." good times lol. no but seriously. DO NOT CHANGE FOR OTHERS. you're too awesome.

~Nessa~ said...

I'm here, I'm new :)Hello to you too.