If you are looking for a sign, THIS IS IT. I am SICK. I am sick and fucking tired of listening to you bitch about being fat. The buck stops here. You don't need to wait till Monday to start a fast, a diet, a new eating plan. You don't have to wait till tomorrow morning. Put down the cake, step away from the fridge and start now. Every time you say no to food, you say yes to being thin and eventually you will find yourself saying no, more than you give in. Put the food down. Yes, it is really hard. Yes, you will fail sometimes. Yes, you are going to be miserable and unhappy while you get used to the new diet. But let me tell you, that the feeling that you have of not only achieving a goal, BUT the confidence of being able to leave the house without feeling like a whale. Without crying yourself into a panic attack because you are too scared of leaving the house because of your fat. These are the things that make it worth it. Just imagine what it feels like to go out and know that you are not the fattest person in the room. If you don't think that it is worth it, go back to your cake. But for FUCK SAKES. Stop. Bitching. You think being skinny is easy? It isn't. You think that denying your body the normal human satisfaction of eating is simpler for some people? Those people aren't us. We work very hard for the weight that we lose. In fact, we mostly dedicate our lives - every waking thought - to food. Get over it. Or get on with it. Because I am over you. Savvy?
Anyway, enough about that. It needed to be said. Today, I'm feeling really good. Cutting out the carbs in my diet has really had a remarkable change on me... which is so weird because I didn't think it would. I have a lot more energy and I don't feel like I need to sleep all day. In addition my belly is looking so flat. I'm going to measure it now to see what is happening, but I'm convinced that it's flatter even though I'm still fat. I only lost 0.2kg AGAIN this morning, so I'm a little bleak about it. But. It is time for my period in the next day or two, so I'm hoping that after my period I'll just drop 3kg overnight... Wishful thinking? I've had about 540 cals today so far and I have some chicken to go for dinner and possibly an orange. So far today I've had two scrambled eggs, 85g of tuna, a banana and a plum. Oh and my regular coffee and honey. It is actually about... 450, but I always total the milk and honey in my coffee for the day when I'm planning, so that total is inclusive of coffee that I'm yet to drink or may not have at all. As much as I really love being on this detox, I am still mentally planning the binge that I get when it's done. I'm going to take one day and eat like a crazy person, before starting another month. Or maybe two weeks at a time. I want cheetos, pizza with extra cheese, mac and cheese, chocolate and chocolate granola. Oh and a BIG bag of crisps. You know, even as I say that right now. I don't find the thought of those foods particularly appealing. Hmmm... maybe it is true what they say that if stop eating certain foods, your body stops craving them... hmmm... This detox has given me a lot to think about.
Peace & Love