Wednesday, April 22, 2015

I'm Just Not Okay

I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I'm fat, I'm lonely, I don't like my new job... well no. It's not that the job is necessarily bad, it's that there is massive change about to happen in the company which is like literally exactly what I just came from. I feel like they lied to me. I weighed 70.8 this morning. BOO! But it's 0.9 so far this week, so it's okay I suppose. Today I have had about 850 cals which consisted of a lobster salad for lunch (I stupidly ate the dressing too which added 144 cals to the dish for a total of 350 cals), weight watchers chicken enchiladas for dinner (350) and then the rest was a cup of hot choc (38) and milk in my tea and coffee... I'm not like disgusted by it. Because I really want to binge, so I figure 850 is better than a binge. 

I'm in such a dark place, I wish I didn't have to feel this. 

Darkness & Gloom
Xo Xo

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