Thursday, December 3, 2015

To Say, To Say

I have nothing to say.

Instead, I am going to bleat on about my miserable financial situation. Which is miserable. I have had to borrow money yet again from my friend to pay my rent. I'm going to spend yet another weekend locked in my flat pretending that my life is not as sad as it actually it. I thought I was going to be paid today, as it turns out it won't be. It may be tomorrow. It may be next week - who knows? 

I was so miserable about my financial situation that I cancelled my booty call with Colbey, which was just as well, because I didn't lose any weight yesterday and that also totally bleaked me out to the extent that I drugged myself asleep by midday and only woke up this morning at 4am. Only after I ate about 700 calories. 

I am seeing Colbey tonight however, because I still want him. God, that makes me pathetic right? He treats me like shit and I still want him. I just really like him and I think in my attempt to make sure that no one gets close enough to hurt me, I convince myself that I don't like him. I do, I ruined it. He treats me like I'm nothing and I still want him. I'm pathetic. I don't want to be pathetic, but I am. 

Anyway, I also went for a 45 minute walk because I feel so pathetic. The plan is to not eat anything else today - I have had like 370 calories - two apples and some oatmeal. Hoping that I will still be below 70kgs tomorrow. 

Here's to the next goal: 67kgs! BOOM!

Bleating & Complaining
Xo Xo

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