Sunday, November 18, 2012

What an Angry Bitch

... that's me by the way. I am an angry, angry person at the moment. Which is strange for me, because I'm not generally an angry type. I'm generally happy and upbeat. What the fuck is going on? Not only am I hating on happiness, but everything. Every tiny little thing is pissing me off. Not just pissing me off, but infuriating me to within an inch of my sanity. I want to shout at everything, everyone. I want to smack stupid people. I am just pissed. It may be pms, but it has been about two weeks now. And everything is still annoying me. I hope this is just a phase. Of course, I'm not going around acting like a meanie. I'd never do that. But beware my wrath if you piss me off. I blogged earlier about that masters dude with fuck all backbone. Well, he texted me earlier and started yacking on and on about this chick that he met and oh lawdy, he unleashed the beast. Now, I know that I have a valid point with him, because he is self-centered and manages to make every conversation about him. If I talk about myself, I get one word answers or he just ignores me. So I ripped into him. Even though I had a legitimate point, I don't think it was necessary to go as ape-shit on him as I did... but I did. And then after my little 'harsh realities of life' speech, I felt SO guilty. Because, I know he doesn't mean it. I also know that even though i want people to take an interest in my life, I am very evasive about their questions because I don't want to seem as if I am self-indulgent and whiney. Generally, I just change the subject. I guess, all in all, it isn't entirely his fault, but it still is and I had a go. Fucking ANGRY. *RAGE*

Anyhoo... Today I fruit fasted which involved two pears and four plums. Also, a landslide of tea. Which has resulted in 368 cals for the day. I know that it isn't as low as a proper fast, but it feels good to be feeding my body with all natural fruity goodness. My friend who is on the Dukan diet hasn't had fruit in months. I don't know how she does it. I ate protein for two days in a row and at the end of it, I was like a ravenous fruit fly. GIVE ME A MANGO GODDAMN! I think I'm more of an omnivore... a herbivore even. (Lol, maybe even an omnomnivore... when I'm binging) Anyway, going to weigh in tomorrow. Hoping to be in the 61's. which is so disappointing considering how much weight I've gained in three months, but I think that for people like us, there are constant cycles of gains and losses. I'm determined to make sure that this next phase of my life is a loss cycle. I have a friend from highschool coming to London in a month and I'm determined to be back in the 50's by the time he gets here, because the last time he saw me I was 59. No big. *YESWECAN*

Pears & Plums
Xo Xo


Anonymous said...

You can absolutely do this! And there's a bunch of people cheering you on.

And knobbie Mcknoberson sounds irritating. I don't think that makes you a bitch at all.

Mystic said...

So, I'm in the process of catching up on your life. Just thought I'd let you know that you're awesome and extremely relatable to me! You've made it so far and I hope you keep that in mind.

Skinny takes strength!

From your new biggest fan,


ꜛⱴאּ Sⱥm ŁupiƝ ҂ said...

omgosh i know how the 'oh, just step back or i'll kill you' feeling is. it's like every little thing is destined to piss you off. every little little thing.
omgosh ew
why would he make every conversation about him
i know some people talk a lot about themselves but they let you talk about you too so that balances it out. usually i have nothing to say
BABE, YOU TOTALLY CAN. omgosh. 368 calories.
i can go on with that low in the weekdays but the thing is i'll probably binge in the weekends if my weekends are high. now imagine going from an 800 intake to a 1100. i maintain on like 1100 right now so i'd SLOWLY lose in the weekdays but maintain weekends/maybe gain a pound or two. its better than losing it really quick and then gaining it back half as quick
at least for me :) i know a lot of you girls can't touch the 800 mark without go full-on binging because you feel like 'what's the point?'
-Sam Lupin

Emily Anonymous said...

I also avoid questions about myself for the same reason. And I also get annoyed when people don't ask me things. I don't know. I think if you're the one that asks other people questions they get used to it and you become the person who's interested in other people. People still love talking to you and love you for you, but they assume that you're intrigued by the inner workings of everyone else.

loveylou said...

LOL omnomnivore... i freaking love it!
love always