I was sitting in a bar with Anthony and he asked me if I was still in love with my ex. The feeling that came over me as he asked me was the same as when Roy asked me if I had slept with Nic. I knew as soon as I said no, as soon as I said that I didn't love him "not anymore" that I was lying. And that I didn't even tell a convincing lie. I haven't thought about this since he broke my heart. How can I still love him? He's a monster. He broke me. My heart. My soul was destroyed and I'll never recover.