I didn't really lose this morning... 64.6. So I lost a WHOLE 100g. Go me. Not surprising though, because my fat piggy confession for today is that I ate a whole bowl of popcorn after I signed off last night... so that was at least another 300 cals. Go Piggy.
Asshole. Today, I've had... again. Somewhere in the region of about... like. 700? Maybe. I don't know. I definitely did not have more than 200g of chips so 450 plus the ketchup and then on my way home from work, because I had yet again convinced myself to binge I had a packet of bickety crisp things. Which was like.. 250. Or something. Yeah, it isn't good. I figure though that since I've stayed below 800 which is the goal all along that I'm still okay. I unconvinced myself of the binge on the tube home... which was very awkward because I was sitting opposite the HR manager from my old company who sat in on the hearing where I was sacked. AWKWARD SWAN! I think we both pretended not to see each other.
Work is crazy at the moment, the CEO emailed me this morning telling me that I need to work faster on my current project, which is virtually impossible to do because I'm doing three projects all at once and there is just me. It's just me. I can't go any fast. Impossible. But the plus side of it is that I'm too busy to have to justify doing anything for lunch, so I just skip it. It's really quite awesome to get home from work and know that I haven't ingested a single calorie the entire day. Haven't heard from the cute British boy today... I'm seriously trying to play it cool, but like. What if me playing it cool registers to him that I'm not interested? Anyway. I hate being the weird awkward girl at work. A couple of weeks before Christmas I got absolutely shit faced with these people from work and this dude (the asshole who called me a racist) told me that the whole office thinks I'm weird. I don't know how to be fucking normal around people. I say the wrong things, I'm socially inept. Fuck sakes.
I did however watch this really fucking cool documentary on Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love called (*wait for it*) Kurt & Courtney. I personally have never believed that she is the psycho killer behind poor beautiful Kurt's death, but after watching the documentary - she is a fucking psycho. I swear to god she did it. The thing that stuck out for me was the word 'harpy' - as in Courtney is a harpy. A woman who takes advantage of a mans weakness and exploits him till there is nothing left. I'm a harpy. Not of men, but of people. I exploit people's weaknesses to my advantage. Maybe I'm a fucking psychopath? It's a shit, SHIT thing to realise that you are more Kurt than Courtney, cuz let's face it. We all wish we were Kurts. I feel inspired to be more excellent. In general.
Kurt & Courtney