I know this is a terrible thing to say, but I need to relearn how to do this ED thing and stop eating. Okay, not a fair thing to say. I need to learn to stop eating. I've become too complacent thinking that I have the right to eat!? What the fuck Piggy, you stupid animal. You do not have the RIGHT to eat. You don't deserve food and you don't deserve to be thin. Just starve and be fat. Ugly, STUPID PIGGY!! I want to try and fast again (I haven't fast in AGES) but I'm so scared that I fuck up at work from being hungry all the time. Well, not hungry. I refuse to be hungry, I will be light instead.
I haven't weighed in a couple of days, because I binged yesterday. It was so weird to have a proper lunch... like, SO weird. But anyway, I'm not going to fixate on my fat ugly day yesterday. Today I have had a soy latte from Starbucks (170), ryvita mini (113), plum (30), and skinny soup (90), OH and a monster absolute zero which comes to 418 for the day. And there I shall stay.
I will weigh in tomorrow and post if it isn't too hideous. WTF ever, I will post. I must also apologise for not commenting on blogs, I'm going to catch up now. Sorry I'm a fail Piggy. I'm just a fail. A fat fail.
Fat & Lard