Saturday, June 23, 2012

A hot fucking mess.

I am a mess today. I am just a fucking mess. A couple of new developments are coming my way. I have decided that perhaps I need to go to AA, I can't seem to control myself when I drink, so I can't drink anymore. I spent the whole day throwing up today, fuck it was awful, not least of which because i drank on an emptyish stomach last night - I had a monster energy drink, the low cal one and a rice krispy treat. Then today when I was wretching with nothing coming up but bile, I drank some chilled peppermint tea in an effort to feel less nauseous, which just made me throw up again. Fabulous, I tell you. SO fabulous. Plans are starting to come together for the boys move over here. He is actually committed to coming, but then if he doesn't end up going to med school here, then we are going to move to California. Since that is where he wants to go, and I just don't give a crap where I live, so c'est la vie.

I have also decided to start a company. It will be a freelance writing agency like some of the ones I work for at the moment, so I am in discussions with people about websites and logos and stuff. Which is very fabulous after all, so I am hoping to get that underway by the end of next week. Today I have had a few cups of coffee and two large potatoes that I baked with mustard. So my cals for today are just under 600, which is amazeballs. Hoping to still be 55 by the end of the month. I'm sure I can.

Thanks for all the lovely comments of support. I know I don't really ever respond to them, but I don't want my blog to be responses to comments, cuz I swear I could write a whole post on just the comments. You all mean so much to this fat little piggy.

Love & Peace
Xo Xo

11 comments:

Ana Jones said...

I wish i could just let loose and drink around my friends. I cant even do that because im thinking about the calories in the alcohol. But im sure you'll reach your goal, if you can fit into a corset like that, you can reach this goal. keep going :)

Ana Jones said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
WinterA said...

Hey I missed you those little 4 days you didn't post hehehe.

I am so sorry to hear how your day has been mostly at the toilet. I have gone threw that only once and it was for only 2 hours. God I don't know what I would do if it was the whole day.

Wow california. I thought about moving there once until I found out it was very costly to live there. No thank you.

That is impressive that you want to start your own company. i hope it works out really well for you.

Good job with the calories. I am sure all that vomiting helped, lol. None the less I am still glad you were able to get something down.

I know what you mean. Sometimes I can talk forever in my comments area.

See you on the next post.

Judith Marie said...

Hey pretty lady,

Sorry to hear you are feeling so crap. But well done on the career front! So happy for you! That's a huge step and I know you can totally have your own company!

As for the drinking, well, I've been worried about your drinking for a long time now. But I don't drink at all, so I feel it almost inappropriate for me to comment on anyone's drinking. And since I don't actually see you drink, hard for me to say whether you are drinking too much or not. It's great that you can see it's a problem. and all the best with stopping. It'll be better for your weight too, since alcohol is what I like to call "liquid calories".

I'm sure you can reach your target, go you!

Haley said...

Having your own company sounds so exciting! I'm wishing you the best!

I have been thinking the same thing with drinking, once I start I just don't stop and then spend the next day completely sick, it's miserable, I'm sorry you have to go through that.

-Haley

Bella Vinvi said...

I had a hard time to control my self yesterday.
I hate when that happen.
I hate that fat.
So i wanna b skinny.
All i have to do is wait ..
And i sure that i can do it!
You can do it to!
I hope the best for you.

Hope
x
Time

and also im sorry for my bad english :p

Breathe~ said...

Good luck on starting your own company! It sounds so exciting, I envy you haha.
Your doing great weight wise honey Im sure you can do it too ^^

I havent had a drink for ages, and its pretty much killing me. Or more like, i would kill for a drink... But people have noticed my drinking patterns and think they can takematters int o their own hands and "fix me" by hiding all alcohol from me and forcing me to go without like this. Im gonna write a post about this i think >_>

I love your blog!! xoxox
Stay strong beautiful
Breathe~

Bones said...

That's terrible you had to spend the entire day like that. :(
I know exactly what you mean. Once I start drinking I won't stop (depending on what it is) until I'm completely shitfaced.

I hope you feel better real soon Piggy.
I've never been to AA but my dad has, I don't think it helped him but maybe it will you..
Awesome that you may have a business soon. Any money is better than no money...
I may be moving to Cali sometime next year myself.
Best of regards! :)

Bella Vinvi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Louie the Conqueror said...

On the up side of things, you seem to be having a good day food wise at least. :D

California? Wow, I'm jealous. The weather, the lifestyle... *sigh* I hope everything works out for you and your beau! xD

I can't really empathize with the whole alcohol issue (underage & uninterested in the substance), but it seems like you're getting a grip on it if you're considering getting help all on your own. I hope you feel better soon.

~ Louie

❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

i'm a sexy mess is what you forgot to say.
AA? Whoa. really, babe?
oh, babe. i hope you feel better. that sounds like fucking crap.
OH. company starting? how awesome. you're amazing, babe. amazing.
<3 you can and you will!
you are a cute little piggy. *kisses forehead* now, go rest.
or i kill you.
your choice.