That first successful day of a new challenge is always the best feeling in the world. Yesterday ended as a bust, because my friend came to drop off some "cabbage." And you know how cabbage makes you want to eat. So I had full on munchies for about two hours, which was horrible. Today however has got me thinking. I can't control myself most of the time, but I wonder if sometimes your willpower is just so much bigger than your stoner munchies. I mean - it must be, because today I haven't wanted to eat. I have just wanted to detox and get all this disgusting food out of my body. I didn't weigh today but I will do so tomorrow. I mean, are we that petrified of getting fat that we can actually stop ourselves from doing something even though we are not of sober mind. I was watching Ruby, which is great reverse thinspo, and they speak about being afraid of the world and therefore eating when you are stressed. Are we so afraid of the world that we can cut ourselves off by not eating? For example, I am starting to worry that I look TOO thin in pictures, because I don't want people to notice. I want strangers to notice, but not people that knew me before because they just see skinny in comparison to what I used to look like. By the way, there is a pic at the end of this for yall. So it's constant questioning about my weight. I never wanted to draw attention to myself, but unfortunately people that see such a 'drastic' weight loss can't shut the fuck up. Anyway, stoned thoughts I suppose. I love the way I look now, BTW's.
Anyway, there are two very cute foxes that have been playing in my garden for the past few days. They sit in the garden and stare at me through my window, which I love. So I talk to them, been trying to get them to come closer. But I think they may be a little dangerous, so I may have to not be so friendly. I just love fluffy animals... well I guess, just all animals. Today I have had three cups of coffee (no honey - be proud!), an orange and a baked banana with a teaspoon of honey on it. Oh yes, and a coke light. Oh the conclusion about this pic is that I won't go any lower than my UGW of 55. But after this binge week I'm probably closer to 65, but this pic was taken a week and a half ago and I was probably around 57 for it. :) And some Edie and Twiggy love. <3
Love & Coffee