Monday, June 11, 2012


That first successful day of a new challenge is always the best feeling in the world. Yesterday ended as a bust, because my friend came to drop off some "cabbage." And you know how cabbage makes you want to eat. So I had full on munchies for about two hours, which was horrible. Today however has got me thinking. I can't control myself most of the time, but I wonder if sometimes your willpower is just so much bigger than your stoner munchies. I mean - it must be, because today I haven't wanted to eat. I have just wanted to detox and get all this disgusting food out of my body. I didn't weigh today but I will do so tomorrow. I mean, are we that petrified of getting fat that we can actually stop ourselves from doing something even though we are not of sober mind. I was watching Ruby, which is great reverse thinspo, and they speak about being afraid of the world and therefore eating when you are stressed. Are we so afraid of the world that we can cut ourselves off by not eating? For example, I am starting to worry that I look TOO thin in pictures, because I don't want people to notice. I want strangers to notice, but not people that knew me before because they just see skinny in comparison to what I used to look like. By the way, there is a pic at the end of this for yall.  So it's constant questioning about my weight. I never wanted to draw attention to myself, but unfortunately people that see such a 'drastic' weight loss can't shut the fuck up. Anyway, stoned thoughts I suppose. I love the way I look now, BTW's.

Anyway, there are two very cute foxes that have been playing in my garden for the past few days. They sit in the garden and stare at me through my window, which I love. So I talk to them, been trying to get them to come closer. But I think they may be a little dangerous, so I may have to not be so friendly. I just love fluffy animals... well I guess, just all animals. Today I have had three cups of coffee (no honey - be proud!), an orange and a baked banana with a teaspoon of honey on it. Oh yes, and a coke light. Oh the conclusion about this pic is that I won't go any lower than my UGW of 55. But after this binge week I'm probably closer to 65, but this pic was taken a week and a half ago and I was probably around 57 for it. :) And some Edie and Twiggy love. <3

Love & Coffee
Xo Xo


Butterfly Unfolding said...

Well foxes are amazing. I have one that sits on the grass outside my house and just watches me sometimes as I walk home.


Alina said...

Your arms are so lovely, can I have mine like that? :P foxes are super cute, but I'm terrified of them at the same time =\. Xx

Miranda said...

So thin up top in your chest and arms. Lovely. Foxes are scary!! Yeah, maybe you don't wanna be so friendly.

clytie said...

Lucky! I want cute foxes to hang out by my house!

You're so tiny! But yes, whenever there is drastic weightloss, family and friends get all up bussiness.

Bones said...

You are minuscule. And I'm glad you're happy with your appearance. xxx

Judith Marie said...

I think you look wonderful in that picture! Lovely arms! And I know what you mean about wanting strangers to think you look okay but being scared that people who know you will think you're "too thin".
I think that 55kg will be a wonderful weight on you, you'll look wonderfully thin without being sickly thin so that people want to intervene.
Good work my pretty lady!

Atty said...

LOOK AT THIS SKINNY GIRL!!! Oh my god! Love it!!

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WinterA said...

Wow you look great! I can't wait to see what you look like at 55!

The foxes do sound cute. Sad that they are so dangerous. Your garden sounds lovely. I picture it with lots of flowers and green grass. I would love the garden too if I was the foxes.

Twiggy looks amazing in the photo by the way.

Cabbage can good. I mostly ate it when my mom made it into a soup. omg so good. I miss eating that soup.