Sunday, June 24, 2012

Where is my tea?

I am still a mess today, although the humiliation of my life is getting slowly better having been shut in for the last two days. I feel safe in my little bubble that is my flat... maybe I am just anti-social. Fuck that. I know I am. I weighed in at 57 this morning... only two more to go for my UGW. It seems so weird that it is so close. I mean, eating to maintain and eating to lose are two very different things and I have no idea how to do that. In reply to a few of the comments on my last blog about the boozing and the calories in the booze - I factor those into my calorie intake. Oh hoh, those fuckers don't get past me. No fucking way jose. I also ONLY drink white wine. Absolutely nothing else, most small glasses of vino have about 80 cals in them. Which is why I am always drinking on an empty stomach... realistically I can have about 4 glasses before it's game over for me. Anyway, I am going to an AA meeting on Wednesday. I chatted to a friend about it and he seems to think it is a good idea. I haven't told anyone, because i am kinda embarrassed that I never seem to have my shit together. And now I'm an alcoholic!? Anyway

Today I have had about... 400 calories maybe. I made a big pot of veggie curry which is all I've had and the whole pot had about 400 cals in it and I have only eaten half... but I just had a nap so I will eat more. And then I've had a cup of tea. Definitely more to come of that. I won a photoshoot on a fb competition which is kinda cool, so I am going to wait until either my boy or my sister get here because then I can bring a guest. I love being alone in my flat. I have to say. I love that I live alone. It is amazeballs. Shout outs to WinterA, Judith, Sammy, Ana, Haley. All the usuals who always give love and support when I need it most. 

Oh and I wanted to ask. If i got without eating for a while sometimes my palet of my mouth becomes SO painful that I actually can't eat. Like. At the moment I can only eat like three bites every five minutes. And it is SO painful. Does anyone else get that?

Love & Peace
Xo Xo


Judith Marie said...

Hey my pretty lady,

I can't say I've ever had the mouth thing but sometimes, when I've not eaten for a while, I get the worst stomach pain when I do eat a little bit. I think my acid production goes haywire and so I get heartburn.

You're actually the second person I know who has won that fb photoshoot thing! Who knew that fb competitions actually amounted to anything!

Good luck at AA. I've been to some of those meetings, as part of my training, and it's definitely turned some peoples' lives around.

Also, WOW you are SO CLOSE to your goal weight! Well done, and yeah, eating to maintain is quite different, let me know how that works out!

Haley said...

Congrats on being so close to your goal weight! That's so exciting!!

All of my friends look at me like I'm crazy when I say I with I could live alone, so I'm glad somebody else feels the same haha.

OH! and you're realllly making me crave some curry!

have a lovely day,

Too Fat for Words said...

Congratulations in being soo close, I was quite close to my 1st GW but then I went on holidays and fucked everything up.
Just catching up on your blog for the last few weeks.
How in the world have you got so many followers?

WinterA said...

Thank you for the shot out. I find you going to AA incredibly brave and very responsible. You have admit you may have a problem and you taking it on head strong.

I liked being alone when my husband was working over night. I can understand what it is like being alone. I feel like I get a lot more work done. I can't explain it any other way than that. Plus when he is around he tries to feed me like I am a animal in a petting zoo.

I have not had the problem you are talking about but I have had my gums get super sore from my wisdom teeth coming in( yeah I still haven't had them pulled ) It hurt like hell and now I can understand why babies cried. The only good thing about that was I lost 6lbs in one week lol.

I hope you have a good day and everything goes according to plans with your calorie intake.

Breathe~ said...

Good luck in the AA meeting, I hope it goes well and helps you and also, Congratulations on being so close to your goal weight omg! So jelous haha.
You are so strong ^^ Stay that way honey you are an inspiration <3



❤ ♥ Sam [Misha] Lupin ❥ ❣ said...

FP! It's Georgie. <3
i am talking to you on FB but yeah. xD
anti-socialness for both of us, babe! i just wanna write like a loner to be honest. xD. Fyeah.
ew. 80 cals for a small? i'm just happy i can't drink.
cool! 400?! you're awesome, beautiful.
FYEAH. BABE. WE LOVE YOU. <3 George's got it going on, eh? ;) George DiCaprio love for you! <3
what luck.
for me, that doesn't happen. at all.
-Sam Lupin
PS. or else I'd be tiny by now. -__-

Butterfly Unfolding said...

I'm so, so proud of you.

And better to preemptively go to AA than have to go and be too wasted to.