I sometimes get a little nostalgic about my homeland. i.e. South Africa... And I feel like a complete traitor to my identity for having left my home of 23 years to runaway from my problems to England. I mean. Obviously I know that I had to come here and had very good reason for doing so. But I feel like there is an inescapable part of myself that is missing because I am not on African soil. Things that the British will never understand, because well... I mean, I guess it is the same as me not understanding the fundamental Britishness that is here either. But I dunno. I mean, it is interesting to look at the stats on my blogger dashboard to see exactly where the people reading this blog come from. I mean, so much of the cultural idiosyncrasies that form our identity come from the places we live. Do you know what I mean? Part of what I learnt in law school had to with the use of culture as a means of identifying with one another, a culture which the Apartheid government tried to destroy in an attempt to stop uprisings. If black peeps couldn't identify with one another then maybe they would understand the 'greater good' that the Apartheid gov was trying to force on them. I.e. whiteness. Obviously and thank god this did not work. But, if you remove someone from their culture, from their home, do you take away part of their identity. I mean, have I lost part of myself because I don't like on African soil anymore... I would be very interested to know where my readers come from, so feel free to drop a comment. For example, one of my top ten readerships are from Bosnia and Herzegovina... Us kids of crimes against humanity need to stick together after all. But if you had asked me last year when I started this blog whether I'd have a readership from b&h, I would have laughed.
In other news, I have started my research proposal for my masters. Which so far looks like a completely feminist rant about the achievement of substantive equality through the use of collectivist human rights. Specifically focused on gender equality through reproductive rights. So basically, what I am saying. Is that because of the use of gender and reproduction as a measure of oppression of men over women historically, in order to achieve (what i call) contemporary equality, women have to have the right to decide reproduction on their own terms. In other words abortion. The funny thing is that I am not a feminist. But I fucking cannot stand that people think they have the right to tell other people how to live their lives. And this goes for a number of things. Abortion, gay marriage, polygomy, veganism, animal rights, etc etc. I've spoken about this before. And even though I don't want to be labelled as a man hating feminist. I have every intention of winning a Nobel Prize one day... One day :) And in order to do that, I need to make a substantial contribution to the world. I intend to do so. My charity project, although stagnant is a starting point for this. As soon as I can get funding, I will be going to Kabul. I will get it going.
Er... I also signed the lease on my new flat today. I am so freakin excited about moving, but for now I need to do a lot of work to remain financially solvent until then, since paying a deposit etc is an expensive business. I have had 330 cals intake today, but it seems that my weigh is completely stagnant. My intake has consisted of two Ambrosia custard pots and two cups of coffee (sans honey - go me) and a whole lot of coke light. Those custard pots are fucking epic, since I love love LOVE custard. I don't think I am going to go out this weekend. I have a fuckton of work to do and Sunday is out since I have a 'family' dinner with my London family. I love you all. Thanks for the support.
Florence & the Machine