Wednesday, May 30, 2012

What a Fucking Mess

The boy is back... god. I don't even know what to say about this, he is like Schrodingers boyfriend, simultaneously there and not there at the same time. Suffice to say that I love him very much and I know he loves me too, I think he is just very scared. BUT also saying that, I am not letting him hold me back. I can have fun and live my life without hooking up with anyone else and behaving. I know that I make excuses for him too. I know that, but fuck. *lol - Butt Fuck*  Anyway, so there. I am being strong, I just don't see the harm in him being in my life. He is my best friend and I love talking to him. Maybe one day that is all we will be. Although to be fair, it's all we are right now, cuz it's not exactly like we are getting sexy at the moment. ANYWAY.

I think I have a stomach ulcer. I had a cup of coffee last night that made me really ill. Although, today I seem to be fine. I have been drinking peppermint tea instead of coffee, so I have only had one cup today. Which is good. I have had two cups of peppermint tea, tomato and basil soup and a cup of coffee with honey. I think I am cutting myself off for the day, although maybe one more cup of coffee... maybe. Anyway, so my cals for the day are at about 300. YAY! If I move into my flat next week - that means... SCALE TIME!!! So excited to get a scale. I haven't weighed in two months. I bet I'm close to UGW, I mean, I have been good. :) Mostly. I don't have anything profound to say today... Although, I really love posting about ED issues because it's nice to know that people actually relate to me... We really are not alone. :)

Love & Peace
Xo Xo

10 comments:

Bella said...

It's good to hear that things are getting better with the boy. I so understand the Schrodinger boyfriend thing - lol! I'm freaking out about returning to the scale after 2.5 months away, but I've been a bit naughty :( So I'm a bit like a kid at Christmas, trying to get their name on the 'nice' list at the moment! Lol

Good luck, and stay positive! ^-^

xxBella

Emma said...

I'm glad things are good for you right now! Hmm... I think I'd have a panic attack if I couldn't weigh in for two months. Maybe even two days... o.O
I adore coffee and liquids and love stuffs, lol. I don't think one more cup of coffee will hurt anything ;) But that's just me <3 I give myself freedom when it comes to coffee.
Anyway! Please take care love! I hope when you do weigh in that you're happy with the number. Or... happier at least <3
-Emma

WeWillChange said...

I'm glad you know you're not alone ^.^
That's why I made my blog as well, just so I could be reassured there are people with the same struggles as I have.
Btw, your blog cracks me up xD You're such a genuinely funny person :3
have a great day!

Me Destruit said...

Hey.. I think, if you love the boy, then have him in your life, but I love your attitude about it =) good for you.

I was going NUTS when I had 2 weeks away from the scale! I was visiting in Canada, and when I got back, I had lost 14 lbs!! I barely ate anything though, which screwed me, bc I binged bad when I got back and just didn't stop =/

Anyyywaaay.. if you've been as good as today, you should have a hugely significant loss! I am routing for you, can't wait to see your result!

Miranda said...

I admire the fact that you can be away from the scale. I'd die! Well as long as the BF is not toxic in your life and holding you back what's the harm right? But if that changes then you have to know when to let go.

Judith Marie said...

Yeah, as long as having him in your life isn't harming you in any way then why not. As long as you take care of yourself hun.
Can't wait to hear an update from you when you get your scale. Bet you are so close to your UGW!

Katie Elizabeth said...

Yay for getting a new scale once you move. And that's an amazing intake. Like Miranda said, I wouldn't be able to live without my scale. I'm sorry you are having so many difficulties with the boy. I hope you two can be good for each other in the end.
XOXO

ruby-tuesday said...

hey,

Thanks for your comments on my blog.

Wow you're close to your UGW, that's amazing. I bet you're dying to weigh.
I would go nuts without my scale or I should say scales as I have 2 just to be sure. I know that's a bit ocd.

Hope you see a number you like,

Much love x

Alice said...

Yay! Thats exciting hopefully all your hard work will pay off when you get your scale:) I don't know how you could go 2 months without but it should be good to you once you get one. Glad everything is going well! <3

VictoriaCrimson said...

I know - thank god for everyone here, or I wouldn't know what to do with myself and my mind!!! Hope your stomach feels better soon =]