Wednesday, November 16, 2011

Arb Ass Week of Nasty Circus

WowWOw I haven't posted in like three days. GOD it feels like forever. I have binged pretty much nonstop since Saturday, which is FUCKING DISGUSTING considering I wanted to hop on to a 5 day fast. I am going to attempt a fast tomorrow and friday. I CAN DO THIS! *psyched* I weighed myself this morning and I was 63.5 FUCK FUCK FUCK.

The friend of the boy turns 30 on Saturday (OLD right?) and he is having a 'white trash' themed party. I need to be skinny awesome for that party. FUck IT IS GONNA BE SICKKKK! The boy is currently in Turkey on business. He was raving about some other woman from home that he met there. I can't stop thinking that he's doing something there... Weird, because then I kinda recoil from that and think that even if something was happening, I probably wouldn't want to know. SAD!! Anyway, not important. He loves me again for now. I'm still moving back to London. I'm not disposable.

This week so far has been an interesting one for hanging out with some friends that I haven't seen. Including the cute boy from the beer commercial shoot - he came round to chill... He seemed a little flirty... maybe... I'm not interested in that weirdness though. I am holding out hope that he's the friend kinda guy. Also saw at the same time my other friend, I have mentioned her before - and she ate and ate and ATE. She was moaning about her weight to me last week, but the amount she ate here - I'm surprised she only weighs that much. WOWOWOW. Anyway it was great seeing her. The video guy ... I invited him round tonight... he said he couldn't. Which SUCKS! Last night my sister came over - she also eats a LOT and this guy that I was in love with when I left for England. Anyway, we jammed guitar hero (LAME!!!!!!) and smoked a lot of reef. It was just so nice to chill with him. Because he doesn't see my flaws. He just accepts. If only everyone were like him - har har (DEEP MUCH!?)

I feel sooooo fat. God. Must get on track again tomorrow. I will. Fast. Yes. See one of my feel goods. I can't wait till the boy gets home. I just hope he isn't shocked by my appearance. Fat little piggy.

Thanks for all the awesome comments dudes. I really appreciate it.

Peace & Good Vibes
Xo Xo


miss alisha said...

If you wanna look awesome by Saturday, eat SUPER healthy the rest of the week, don't slip up! Lots of water! You can do it! AND work out.

I get so jealous of people who eat like pigs and still manage to look amazing. Unfortunately, it's in the genes. We aren't all that lucky.

You'll do great the rest of this week. Just keep a positive mindset. Good luck, dear!

Judith Marie said...

And good vibes to you too!

I understand the binging thing, I feel so disgusting after I binge.

It's funny you should talk about your friend who complains about her weight. I have a friend who did the exact same thing and now there is this guy that she likes and she can't eat when she thinks about him and she's just dropped weight. Proves that it's just overeating.

Don't worry about the 63.5. That's just the weight of the food. When it passes through, you'll be light again!

becca; said...

good luck with your fast! xo.