Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Binge.

I binged today - I serious way. I also ran everywhere I went to try mitigate, but I really don't think there is much I can do about the eat fest I had today. It started at my moms house and then continued till I got home. OH well. I really have been slipping these last few weeks. WOW. Explains why I have lost anything. This morning I was 136. BUT I NEED TO GET TO 132. Okay. So the plan then is to fast tomorrow and Thursday. I am sure with enough coffee and pepsi max, I can totally do this.

All the disgusting cheese and tortilla in my stomach makes me want to throw up. I don't know how I slipped this far back. HOW HOW. It is so disgusting. OH and I am back in the fashion show. They called me today and said that the omission from the list was an oversight. Fuckers. Oh and this was also mid way through my binge. And I managed to do so well yesterday. OKAY. I can get to 132. I can I can I can I must. And I need to do it by next Wednesday - the fashion show. I can I MUST!

Maybe tomorrow I will do an apple fast. Apple and green tea fast. Yes, I think I shall do that. Apple at 9am, another at 1pm, another 5pm and two (piggy!) at about 7pm. And a cup of green tea with each. I think I shall do that. :) God, if anyone has advice...

Sorry if I don't reply to comments. I always mean to and then I don't. I am totally keen to text, well more like if people have a blackberry and iphone with whatsapp, cuz I don't live in the US so it will be quite expensive. But yeah, leave me your phone numbers/BB pins and I shall add you :) I'm really sorry I have been failing so miserably at this. I'm just a fat piggy after all. :( :( I promise to be better tomorrow. Will see how it goes with the apple and green tea fast. I'm so thirsty today. God, I feel like such a failure.

Strength & Misery
Xo Xo

6 comments:

Charlie said...

Definitely don't purge. It's the worst. I've slipped far, too. But we'll get back on track, I know it. :)

Judith Marie said...

Glad to hear you're back in the fashion show! Don't worry so much about your binge. It's food weight, and it will come off fast. I've binged like a possessed being today, took some more laxies, not that I think they'll do much, but as a punishment for eating so much.
I stick better when there is some punishment at the other end.

You're not failing, so what if you had a slip up, the most important thing is that you know what you did was wrong and that you're back on track. You can totally do this, I have faith in you and you've done so well. Size 0 after all missy and don't you forget it!

Kitty said...

Sucks to feel like you are failing. Just brush it off - and move on.

That apple fast sounds intressting - I might give it a shot :)

GL with everything

A.beautiful.mess said...

I'm sorry you feeling like you're doing so badly, I always feel like you do so well.

Fast sounds really tough (for me at least lol). I haven't been having too much green tea lately so I'll join you on that.

I have a blackberry but bbm is not working at the moment which sucks. Otherwise I would jump at the chance to have you as a bbm buddy :) Gosh that sounds so lame!!

Good luck! And yay at being back in the fashion show.

Emma said...

:/ Binges suck. Especially when you know it's going to suck later DURING your binge so you can't even have a millisecond of pleasure from it, lol. That fast sounds awesome! I want to try! But right now I'm stuck on this one method that worked for me before so... it better work now lol. Keep postingggg!

lulani said...

I'm sorry you are going through all this, I'm in a very similar boat. but today is a new day, this too shall pass, and all that jazz. Be strong!