SOOO I have had a realisation about stuff. I need to eat more regularly to avoid the binges. Because, I can fast no problem, but then the next day - or whatever if I fast for more than one day - then it's on bitches. On like donkey kong! And when it rains it pours. SO I Binge like a fucking starved zombie maniac. But PFFFFT silly me, I don't have to tell you guys, because you know how it goes. But also. I mean I am really scared of starting to eat early in the day, because usually when I do this, my willpower disappears and I binge. FUCKING binges. If you do X then you binge, if you do Y then you binge, if you Z then you binge. FUCK FUCK FUCK. Anyway, not important.
Today I planned on only doing green tea and five apples. I have had an ass load of green tea today and two apples so far. I promise you it has taken all of my willpower not to eat the brownies my mom made yesterday. Even more to say no to chips. EVEN more to say no to just about every yummy thing in the store when we went grocery shopping now. BUT instead I bought some nectarines, which are my favourite fruit. What I plan to do is fruit fast today and tomorrow. Since it's almost 9pm now, today is sealed. And tomorrow also a fruit fast. An apple at 9am, another at 1pm, 5pm and then some more for dinner. I am going to have half a melon now. I check the calorie content on the melon and half of one should be about 150 calories. With the two apples today that should be around 300 tops. Which is great. And until about 20 minutes ago, I haven't felt hungry all day. But you know what, fuck it - green tea makes me feel so good. Like healthy.
After tomorrow, I want to do raw from Friday till Sunday. I am super busy from Friday onwards, so hopefully I won't be tempted. I also am going to try not drink this weekend, which should be easy since I am WAY too fucking broke to buy booze. I should be getting some cash on Saturday. I'm hoping to be 60/132 by the end of the week. Hopefully. :) :)
Thanks for all the lovely support and comments. I am trying to keep it together, but I have noticed on the blogs this week, we are mostly not doing so great. But come on ladies (& William) - we can do this. We can totally get through the holiday season! :) I think the trick is to accept that on Christmas, we will binge. And make sure that the day before and after we are well behaved to make up for it.
One of the primary things that I worry about with becoming skinny is losing my hair. I saw the most amazing thinspo pic of this girl with super thick hair and the greatest thigh gap you ever did see. FUCK I wish I had fucking saved that pic. Anyway.
Peace, Love & Skinny Thoughts