Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Nothing to Contribute

I have nothing to contribute today. Feeling a bit aimless actually. Feeling like all of my friends have disappeared and the only people I see are my sister and my bff. All the rest are gone. Feel like I don't meet new people anymore. Just feel a bit lost. I still can't see my chest bones and I can only see ribs if I streeeeetch up. I work now where my mom can see me every day and she is constantly trying to feed me. I didn't end up fasting yesterday, but ate probably in the region of 250 calories - milk in my coffee, about 6 water biscuits with avocado, tomato and pickles on them and then a glass of white wine. Today so far I have had nothing but tea and coffee with milk and a pepsi max. So today, I'd like to keep it below 500. That'd be fine. Preferably no carbs. Going to have some fish or something. Unless the boy doesn't come home, in which case I won't have anything. My new favourite passtime is not eating specifically to piss him off. It hurts him more than it hurts me. And then I wake up skinnier. I am starting to feel like I don't look fat anymore, which is nice. I'm so tired. I may nap.

Thanks for all the lovely comments. And welcome to my new followers. A couple more everyday... :) Again, I'm available on email if yall wanna chat. OH and I had this thought about Portia de Rossi. AWESOME thinspo really. BUT she was on Oprah and crap cuz she had ana and she lived on 300 cals a day and how bad that was blah blah blah. I remember thinking how shocking that was then, now... HAHA. Anyway. I wish my life were more interesting. My stomach is cramping. NOT nice.

Wisdom & Strength
Xo Xo


kes said...

You did great yesterday with restricting. It may not have been a fast like you had planned on, but you still did great. I hope today goes well for you too. And if you're tired, you might as well nap. You can't eat when you're asleep. I usually end up eating when I'm tired thinking it will wake me up. And it never does help make me more energized...

Judith Marie said...

250cal a day is great! so don't beat yourself up about it. And as long as you are losing it doesn't matter what bones you can and can't see because if you keep going you'll see them all soon.
Sorry you had a crap day, hope things look up for you soon!

miss alisha said...

250 is sooo low! So don't fret about not fasting. I found that staying below 500 kept me really thin and I wouldn't even bloat! Just try to eat lots of fruits and veggies.
Good luck, darling!

And thanks for your comment on my last post. It means a lot and made me feel better.

By All Means said...

your doing great, dont worry about not fasting. i try to not think about what i did wrong, if im binging and finally realize it i just stop. i cant undo what i did but i dont have to add to it. keep up the good work!