Sunday, July 15, 2012

The A, B, C's of ABC.

This is meant with no offence to anyone that is on ABC at the moment, but it seems this ridiculous fucking thing has reappeared and everyone is trying it. I have an issue with ABC and SGD - and this is why. I'm not saying they don't work, because they do. Definitely. But my issue is that going onto ABC is recipe for disaster, it is setting yourself up to fail. I have been reading these blogs for about a year now, and let me tell you. In that year, not a single one has actually reported sticking to the ABC for more than a week. And then they are in an even worse place, because they have failed to live up to this impossible standard. I reached my UGW, sure, but can I stick to ABC? No fucking ways. I can't even go a whole week without binging. And then it's the depression and the worthlessness because of this impossible fucken diet. Look, I'm definitely not a preacher and everyone must do what they want, but why give yourself another reason to hate? I'm not looking for ways to fail. And that's what I think of ABC. I'm also ratty because I am tired.

So I just can't sleep. I am stressing so badly about the site that is meant to be launched tomorrow, but now my ex is saying that he will try his best. I don't need him to fucking try. I need him to finish my fucking site. I am so fucking over his excuses. I'm not a perfectionist, but if you say you are going to do something then goddamn do it. Jesus fucking christ on a mutha fucking penguin pony tap dancing on a stick! SERIOUSLY!? As usual. Life is always more important than me. And yet again, every promise ever made to me has been a let down. What a surprise? Well done, very well done. Maybe that's the way he conducts HIS business, but it's not the way I want to do mine. Fuck sakes. Coco is riding high. And I think even Piggy is starting to become more like her. I don't need him. I don't need any man. Right now, it's all about my company and maintaining. Today I have had about 700cals. It's way too much. I can't eat this much, I feel like i've eaten a mountain. So I think I wanna try for 600 a day from here on out.

This is just for my ex....
I can't say this to your face. But I need to say it. You are pathetic. I spent so long trying to make you happy and maybe someone will never make me as happy as you once did, but at least they won't make me hate myself enough to try and kill myself. I'm glad we are done. I'm glad the wool has been lifted. You are mediocre, average, ordinary. These are the things that I fear the most in my life. You can get stuck in your life. Stay there and rot. I thought you were enough for me, but the reason you constantly disappoint me is because you were never at my level to begin with. And the sad thing is that you know it's true.
... Maybe one day I'll have the courage to say this to him. I may be fat and ugly, but I have always known that I am exceptional and I guess I thought he was exceptional too. But I was wrong. Sorry that yall have to read this crap.

Love & Hurt
Xo Xo

9 comments:

Lara said...

I think its not crap, its something we all feel at some point. Why is it we always hold on to someone, try so hard..fight..even though you KNOW you could do so much better...and realize (too late) he isn't even worth it in the end?

I could never stick to ABC..so I never tried...

Finally Perfection said...

I'm back on the road to restriction having taken a whole decade off... Even back in the 'good old days' I couldn't stick to ABC for any length of time. Just wanted to leave a comment and say that I'm reading from the beginning and you've been an inspiration to me since I found your blog. Just set up one of my own even though I am a complete and utter lard arse right now. I weigh like 2 of you. It's going to be a long and painful one but hope you'll give this fat piggy some encouragement: finally-perfection.blogspot.com xx

Too Fat for Words said...

Completely understand what you mean about the ABC, but I need something, something to give me hope, and even if I can't last the entire time I can be depressed and then that depression will keep me going.

Run said...

I agree soo much! I know the ABC and SGD work, but so does any diet that involves starving yourself of pretty much everything. It's ridiculous how often it pops up because it's just setting so many people up to fall off into binge mode. They pretty much set you up to fail.

xx

EnHL3 said...

No need to apologise dear,I'm glad u are telling someone about it rather than bottling it all up,I know someday coco will tell him he gots to get it sometime... About the ABC and SGD really I'm not one to comment cause I'm afraid I don't know where I stand,part of me wants to try SGD but another tells me I don't need to be more miserable than I am already...

Kitty said...

The horror of ABC and SGD.. I have never done ABC - but I tried both SGD and HSGD.. And yes it is really to put your self up for fail..

The longest I have known someone stick to it was 3 weeks. that girl ate more than the daily limits - but she burned it all off in the gym.

But I guess for a binge eater/someone with Mia - these are just diets to fail on..

They do work.. Until you fail.. and you start feeling more horrible than ever cause they failed.

-
hope the site gets up as planned.. He really should do what he said he is going to.. I HATE people who don't stick to the plan.. ugh..

And you know what.. I really think when you are done with him fixing the site,, you should transfer the whole thing to a safe server and tell him exactly what you think.. He sounds like he deserves to hear it!

Unknown said...

Don't worry, I love angry rant posts(:
I'm currently on 2468 diet, which I stick to for about 2 weeks and then mess up, but I still lose weight while messing up so I'm never terribly angry about it. You should tell off your ex, he's an ass. They always are (girls are the same, sigh).
I hope things go well! Just try to relax a little, hun. I'm sure he'll finish the website in time, he's just trying to mess with you.
Stay strong Xoxo

WinterA said...

Amen and well said my sister. Like the ABC diet is not for the weak of heart. It's why I never tried it. I knew I would screw it up. I don't know anyone who has stuck to it long term although I have met a girl who like fasted for a month straight???

I don't mind reading your message to the boy. It's the truth and I am happy that you now can see and even express how you feel about him then and now. Most would have a hard time doing that.

Yes he needs to finish the site. This is your business not some site just for kicks. Reading that kind of made me mad a little. I hope you are not paying him, he doesn't deserve a cent from what I am hearing right now. It may look good in the end but you need to finish in a timely manner as well. I hope he finishes it soon.

Sam said...

I am a new reader and just wanted to say hi. I admire your gumption and contro in being able to reach your ugw. I am in the proces. Of reaching mine and catching up on your blog has def helped me realize what I want and that all it takes is dedication. Congrats on your site and good luck with all you carrer goals, I know you'll make it.

Sam