I have so much work to do, I really shouldn't even be blogging. But of course, I have to contribute a little something to the meaningless swath of information that is out there on the web. Of course. Last night I ate a little bit of air popped popcorn and some pumpkin seeds after I blogged so my total was definitely up by another 200 cals... which isn't the end of the world. Today, I have had about 600 cals and I'm done for the day. I didn't weigh in this morning for some reason... I kinda just forgot and I won't weigh myself after I've eaten, because of... you know. food weight. Anyway, so I will do that tomorrow morning. Well assuming I get any sleep tonight, which i doubt I will because I have so much work to do. Fuck sakes. ANYWAY. It's not going to be that bad because I've already done the research, now i just have to write. And it wouldn't be the first time I've pulled an all-nighter. Anyway, work aside.
So this challenge... what to do what to do. I have no idea. I was thinking maybe we could have a start date and an end date. Something to work towards. And then, the most weight lost in that time... well. Maybe percentage body weight... Because obviously bigger girls will lose more than the teeny tiny ones, but that's all so complicated. I don't know. Does anyone have any suggestions about this weightloss challenge?
I was watching True Blood this morning, because I <heart> True Blood in such a major way, and you know. There was this scene where the dudes dead boyfriend was sitting in the car next to him and he asked if he was real and the dead boyfriend said "does it matter" and I burst into tears. I think I am finally starting to come to grips with just how much my ex hurt me. And how I much I compromised myself to make him happy. I think what I was holding onto for the last year has been my dead boyfriend. He isn't real, but I didn't care. In my mind, he was the man that made me happy... but. he just ended up being a disappointment. I know I have unreasonable expectations of people, but I have massive ambition when it comes to everything, I want to be the best and do everything I can to make someone else happy. Why couldn't he want to give me the same thing. I think finally. I am starting to move on. And it's just fabulous. And freeing. Somebody that I used to know. I want to cry now. I'm not sure why, but feeling oh-so emotional.
Peace & Love... I wish I had drugs.