Thursday, October 13, 2011

25 Random Things About Me

I have taken a page from Beth's book and I think it's fun fun fun. But firrrrsssttt. Yesterday was a good day kinda, I had a smoked salmon salad for dinner - lettuce, salmon, cottage cheese and avo - so maybe maybe 400 and then I slipped up and had carrot cake, and then I got drunk on my couch. Needless to say, I feel like assgravy today, but it's okay BECAUSE I got my period this morning (I feel so sorry for William having to read our blogs with girly period info on it - sorrrrry Will) which means a) I'm not pregnant and b) the hormonal binging can finally stop and c) I am retaining water so I am actually lighter than I weighed in at 64 this morning. Whoop.

This morning I saw this girl at varsity - incidentally also one I fucking hate like the goddamn plague, but for different reasons than the stick insect with no soul (or brain). She is what we call at my law school - a Jewish princess - which is cool. Lots of family money, tall, dark hair, well educated, well spoken, polite. Which is great. Sounds like a great girl right? She is - she is nice and friendly and I get on well with her. BUT the reason for my dislike... okay I don't really 'fucking hate her like the goddamn plague' - she just really irritates me, because she always wears the UGLIEST mutha fuckin' shoes you ever saw in your life. Like just nasty. Like brown peep toe snakeskin slingback cork wedges. FUCKING DISASTER. What makes it worse is that she walks like a fucking dinosaur!! If you are going to wear high heels to campus where there is a lot of walking - at least learn how to not walk like a fucking velociraptor! SERIOUSLY - I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic PARK! She also has an ass the size of China - maybe why I don't hate her! Us fatties need to stick together! Buttt I disgress.

I start working at that place later. Whelmed. But that does mean that I won't eat dinner - AWESOME - so I had tuna now, because I'm hungover so I think I need it. My tummy is so sore though - FUCK YOU LADY PARTS AND PERIOD PAIN. Okay. God I write like I have tourrettes.

SO 25 Random Things About Me:
1. I am totally in love with Van Halen, Dire Straights, Bob Dylan, The Doors and Johnny Cash. Dudes, you have no idea.
2. I am scared of just about everything - zombies, ghosts, aliens, supernovas, falling into the water at the harbour, sharks, airplanes crashing into my house, old people. Severely limits my movie choices.
3. I loveeeeeeeeeeeeeeee tequila!
4. I love to eat mexican with my tequila!
5. I am obsessed with my BlackBerry and am always on it texting like a maniac! (On my next point, if any of yall wanna text - leave your pins - I'm serious. )
6. I think Ben Affleck is the best and sexiest (I know - the shame)
7. I played for a cricket club until I was 14 - yes that's right EPIC!
8. I want to be a judge when I grow up
9. I love watching sport. Like a freak. Rugby, cricket, F1, cycling, tennis, golf and soccer in particular.
10. I have an anxiety disorder - probably relates to my fear of everything somehow.
11. I have five parents and five siblings.
12. I HATE onions, jelly and eggs.
13. I say I'm a vegetarian, but actually I'm pescatarian. I love fish.
14. I love playing cards - my favourite game is called shithead. I'll teach you.
15. My favourite author is Wilbur Smith. South African - brilliant.
16. I live in the most beautiful city in the world and all I want is to leave it.
17. I once walked into a light post while texting on my phone in Kentish Town, London.
18. I have made out with probably over 300 men (and probably about 20 odd women). I'm not kidding. Kissing MONSTER!
19. I am a Democrat for the purposes of the US, Conservative for the purposes of UK (David Cameron is amazing) and DA for South Africa. Politics is my porn.
20. I hope to complete my PhD at Oxford one day...
21. I drive a Toyota Yaris named Stevie Blue (After Stevie Ray Vaughn and cuz he's blue)
22. I hate shopping for clothes - probably because I hate crowds and people - but also because I can't afford everything I want.
23. I plan to write my masters dissertation on Anti-Corruption Convention Implementation.
24. I HATE STUPID PEOPLE. And ppl dat wryt like dis bcuz dey tink its kewl - you have a keyboard... and a brain... Please beat yourself with the abortion bat.
25. I tried really hard to teach my cat to walk on a leash, which I succeeded at, but then I didn't 'walk' him so he forgot. And my boyfriend won't let me walk him anywhere except our complex, which is four units... fail.

Yay! Stoked that I did that. So the plan is to eat nothing else today and be under 64 tomorrow! Sorry I haven't really been posting about weightloss much, I was really stoked about this list thang. Muchos amore!

Peace & Awesomeness
Xo Xo


Anonymous said...

i love how bitchy you are! like seriously, you give me a run for my money! wahooo! and you are a clever bitch, so you can kinda get away with it ;)

cant believe you dont like jelly though...! you can eat it by the bucket and its only a couple of calories if you go sugarfree XD

(not that i would eat a bucket of jelly. ew).

Anonymous said...

Abortion Bat!? AHAHAHAHAHA that is fucking fantastic!! OMFG! you are great! I wish to keep you!

BB Pin is: 313C4980

Sam Lupin said...

i really, really, really, really want cake right now.
'tis why i suck!
i never thought of that! poor William. xD
i agree! fatties together! we unite!
vegetarian me disgrace with tuna! xP
Ben A. is awesome.
jelly i can relate to. i don't hate it. but i can't eat it! xD
i'm vegetarian!
yum! make out with Sam next
abortion bat? are my life. that's it. i'm calling for marriage.
under 64.
let me get back into 60's soon...fucking fail, no? xD

-Sam Lupin

William said...

Ha ha. No worries! There are four, very outspoken girls in my family and I have lots of outspoken, girl friends. I hear my share of girl talk. It strikes me funny too that we are all eating disordered and writing about very personal, embarassing things and yet periods still seem like a taboo subject! Ha ha. Idk, just my thought on the matter. :P

You have great taste in music! Johnny Cash and Bob Dylan, ugh I love them so much. I wish Mr. Cash was still around, I'd go see him for sure!

I hate Tequila! Blegh! Well, I mean I'll still drink it but queue bad memories and it makes me a mean drunk! I'm a whiskey kind of boy. :)

The Ben Affleck thing is jut embarrassing. ;) That's ok though, I legitimately like Kristen Stewart! She's damn cute!

You are a kissing monster! I didn't have my first kiss until I was 16 and have only kissed 4 girls since then. I'm just not the player type.

I guess I'll wrap that up for now! xD I'll reply to your comment in my next post today! Love you Miss Piggy, stay strong! :D

Samzi said...

I <3 the doors. Kissing monster? oh man, you and me both.

I don't have a blackberry, because I'm a lame ass like that.

I loved this post and I'm totaly going to ahve to do a 25 things about me now

Sunshinechild said...

"at least learn how to not walk like a fucking velociraptor!" Omg I just almost fell out of my chair in the student center because as I read that a fucking velociraptor in nasty looking wedges just went lumbering through the cafeteria. I love you're writing style because you always manage to put a smile on my face. You tell it like it is and I love it <3 sunshinechild

Zoie said...

I might have just fallen in love. xoxoxo. you are wild. and I love it. 300 men? hell to the yeahhh.

Haley said...

OMG I LOVE YOU!!! First of all, I'm obsessed with your choice of music! Literally obsessed. And your makeout's a known fact in my sorority that a makeout whore is the best kind of whore to be lol and I also love just about everything else about you. I almost want to trade in my droid for a blackberry so I can texxxxt you! haha

A.beautiful.mess said...

3) I love my blackberry too :):):)

8) I wanted to do it until I found out how much work it is.

9) I love watching sport also for how united people get in supporting their teams. I'm a lover of cricket and soccer in particular and because of the RWC, rugby :)
10)I have an anxiety disorder and I hate it. The panic itself and lack of control is horrible.

16) Are you from joburg or cape town?

22) I love shopping for clothes. I HATE Crowds with a passion - I could kill people for either stopping in the middle of an aisle or just walking slowly.

24) me too! It's so irritating. WhAt iS aLsO iRrItTaTiNg iS pEoPlE wHo WrItE lIkE tHiS. That was extremely painful to write.

That's my comment :)