Goddammit well the last 24 hours have been interesting! Let's start with yesterday. I had a job interview (got offered the job, turned it down) and then went to the place I used to work at and got offered a job there again, which was great, but after my exams. Everyone there was like gahhhhhhh you're so skinny. (The words we all live for). I weighed in at 63.6 yesterday, which was fine after my binge.
Then last night I went out with my sister and felt sooo skinny. This super cute boy (two years younger - I feel like a cougar) was totally hitting on me. A pic you ask? okayyyy...
So today I weighed myself and guess what?? NEW LOWEST WEIGHT! Okay only by 0.1kg but still. 62.6 (I always step on the scale twice, cuz obviously it could be wrong and the first reading was 61.8 and I start happy dancing, but then I was like.. "hang on" and stepped on three more times each were 62.6. Awesome moment. But then I ate chinese with my sister and drank coke, so ya. But I got an idea from reading all of your blogs which is that if I gain, I fast. If I lose then I get to eat 500 cals. So here is to losing. But, this will only apply till I get to 60, then I am going to reassess. But I am think that 132/60 isn't going to be low enough, so maybe 130? Or even 126? I dunno. Maybe. Wow, 126. What a low number. Shit. Anyway. I want my bmi at 18. Then maybe I will stop. :) Oh and took new measurements which I will put on my stats page, but for yall reading:
My BMI is now 19.8 - Can I get a FUCK YEAH!?
So the big drama is that my boyfriend didn't come home last night and claimed to be at his friends house. But you know, I don't think I believe him. After all, why wouldn't he cheat on me. He hasn't told me where he was or apologised. I freaked out at 4am phoning and texting him thinking he was dead (I mean this is Africa you know!?) and nothing. So I am on a hunger strike until he apologises. We are going to his mother for dinner tonight, so he can either apologise or explain to his mom why I am not eating. It pisses him off that I don't eat, but it is rather sad that it is the only way I can force an apology. I have iron will. Try me mutha fucker. I don't care that he went partying and didn't come home. Whatever. I do care that he doesn't tell me, he knows I am totally neurotic and still he didn't text me to tell me he was too drunk to drive. Sorry for being inconsiderate. Four words - not difficult. I hate that I have to play these games, but fuck it man, be considerate of me. I love you. Sometimes I wish that he would cheat on me, so that I would have leverage over him. Like look - I am not always the bad guy. Because it fucking feels that way. I feel like his emotional door mat sometimes. Whatever. I am strong. Don't fuck with me. I can also play along.
Rant. Over. Thanks for all the lovely comments and welcome to all the new followers. I actually saw that two people stopped following my blog. I got upset for a minute until I realised how silly that is. Fuck those assholes and love to the ones that still follow. :)
Skinny & Proud