So for some reason this morning I have been on the cusp of a panic attack since I woke up. Here are the order of events. I woke up, went down stairs - watched the new eps of Vampire Diaries and Grey's (<3), then got this phonecall saying "Hi, may I speak with Fat Piggy" (well they used my name obviously) and then hung up. So I called back and it was a dead line. I don't know if I should be stressed about this or not - like I have dead paranoia that the CIA are following me. Anyway. So then I go upstairs to print out a resume - because I still need a muthafucken job, and see an email on my bf's computer to me, but it's just a blank email with my email add in the 'To:" bar. So nothing really - and I'm all like 'he's going to break up with me - there's something he can't say to my face - something's wrong, etc etc." God. Anyway, queue panic attack.
So SGD day one. In an attempt to avoid a panic attack, I thought maybe my sugar levels or something were low cuz I was shaky and stuff - so I ate something. So I have basically nothing left for the day. But if I just eat some fruit or veggies later, then I will be fine. Come to think of it, I did have like two massive cups of really strong coffee this morning, and caffeine makes a person really shaky and stuff - maybe that is the onset of the panic attack explanation, maybe...
Thanks for all the comments on my last post. You are all so lovely :) :). I don't really have much to contri-fucking-bute today. SO sad. I have to get my studying shit together. Gotta do it. OH ya, saw this friend of mine who made out with a seriously hot work buddy last weekend, and she has a bf, so she's all like "ADVICE ADVICE", I dunno. I truly that sometimes things like that just happen. I know it's a shitty thing to say, but you know - people get drunk and then they don't know what the fuck they are doing and they just fuck out and make mistakes. It happens. But if you don't draw a line in the sand and you let the cheating go on in your head - then you are fucked. And once you consciously i.e. not drunkly cheat on someone, emotional or otherwise, your relationship will be fucked forever. There's no going back after cheating. I have cheated before, I KNOW the muthafuckin' situation. And guilt eats.
There is my contribution to the philosophy of life today. Fuck I feel so miserable and shitty. My period is due in a day or two. Always a waiting game. Fuck sakes. OH YA and I weighed in at 64.4kg today. So basically 2kgs down from yesterday. Amazing.
Love & Strength