Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Hello Panic Attack!

So for some reason this morning I have been on the cusp of a panic attack since I woke up. Here are the order of events. I woke up, went down stairs - watched the new eps of Vampire Diaries and Grey's (<3), then got this phonecall saying "Hi, may I speak with Fat Piggy" (well they used my name obviously) and then hung up. So I called back and it was a dead line. I don't know if I should be stressed about this or not - like I have dead paranoia that the CIA are following me. Anyway. So then I go upstairs to print out a resume - because I still need a muthafucken job, and see an email on my bf's computer to me, but it's just a blank email with my email add in the 'To:" bar. So nothing really - and I'm all like 'he's going to break up with me - there's something he can't say to my face - something's wrong, etc etc." God. Anyway, queue panic attack.

So SGD day one. In an attempt to avoid a panic attack, I thought maybe my sugar levels or something were low cuz I was shaky and stuff - so I ate something. So I have basically nothing left for the day. But if I just eat some fruit or veggies later, then I will be fine. Come to think of it, I did have like two massive cups of really strong coffee this morning, and caffeine makes a person really shaky and stuff - maybe that is the onset of the panic attack explanation, maybe...

Thanks for all the comments on my last post. You are all so lovely :) :). I don't really have much to contri-fucking-bute today. SO sad. I have to get my studying shit together. Gotta do it. OH ya, saw this friend of mine who made out with a seriously hot work buddy last weekend, and she has a bf, so she's all like "ADVICE ADVICE", I dunno. I truly that sometimes things like that just happen. I know it's a shitty thing to say, but you know - people get drunk and then they don't know what the fuck they are doing and they just fuck out and make mistakes. It happens. But if you don't draw a line in the sand and you let the cheating go on in your head - then you are fucked. And once you consciously i.e. not drunkly cheat on someone, emotional or otherwise, your relationship will be fucked forever. There's no going back after cheating. I have cheated before, I KNOW the muthafuckin' situation. And guilt eats.

There is my contribution to the philosophy of life today. Fuck I feel so miserable and shitty. My period is due in a day or two. Always a waiting game. Fuck sakes. OH YA and I weighed in at 64.4kg today. So basically 2kgs down from yesterday. Amazing.

Love & Strength

Xo Xo


Sam Lupin said...

don't stress about it, love! :( gahhh. panic attacks are bad! D:
yes. caffeine do make a lot of people shaky. and yes! you can eat loads of veggies/fruit if you want to laters!
i never drink (unless you count coffee/diet coke/tea and no water), then yes, i drink! but never alcohol. i've never touched that crap :)
period can make some people more prone to a lot of shit! i suggest more sleeping (i'm always jittery so when i sleep more, i'm more relaxed).
hope you feel better, love!
+if you're sleeping, you're not eating. elvis believes it!

-Sam Lupin
no seriously. Elvis Presley went on that sleeping beauty diet. xD, where they just sleep to avoid eating to lose some weight.

Beth said...

Awwww, Fat Piggy! Don't stress yourself out!

I hate panic attacks. I am convinced that I have them and they are what cause all of my fucked up feelings..

I doubt the CIA is after you.. if they were, they certainly wouldnt be asking for you by nickname, yo.

And your boyfriend would never give up a girl as beautiful as you!!

Stay strong, lady love.

William said...

Hey girl! (I'm sorry I just cannot bring myself to call you Fat Piggy) I'm a push over! xD Anyway, I just wanted to let you know I've returned from my absence and I've caught up on your blog! Also, I just want to say I love how you write. It's so frantic and vulgar but all in a very routine, consistent way. I love it. :)