Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Caveman Syndrome!

First of all, thanks so much for the comments. You guys make me laughhhh (HAHAHAHA! *snort giggle*). And you know, so many of these blogs are lankkkk depro and some of mine are too, but hell I am so serious all the time (lawyer!) and it's nice to be able to put shit out there exactly how I think it.

Okay, so CAVEMAN fucking syndrome. It's real mkay? Basically, when a storm comes up (metaphorical or otherwise), instead of braving the weather, you retreat back to your cave and wait for the storm to pass. I am a fucking EXPERT at being a caveman... besides the fact that I can eat like a caveman... I don't do arguments or confrontation, unless I absolutely have to. Most of the time I just switch my phone off and hide in my house until it's forgotten or I'm ready to not be upset by it anymore. Essentially this is what I am doing with those two guys, because I don't want them to think I'm a fuckhead, so I hide. Let me also just preface this by saying that I really really am silly enough that I really don't like it when people dislike me. I think I'm pretty likeable. Lol anyyyywaaaays. Not important.

I think so often about calories (not just eating them) and how when I was at my fattest, I thought that 1200 per day was SUPER low. And most days I never made 1200. Then I thought, okay keep em down to 1000. And now 500 is my number, any more than that makes me angry. As we well now. Lol. 1200 calories - sounds like a fucking FEAST to me!

Yesterday, I ate and I ate and I ate. Although, I did keep it under 500. Miraculously. I literally had to sit down and be like 'okay fatass, you are going to be in a bikini in 5 days. DO YOU REALLY want to eat that!? PUT IT DOWN FATASS!!!!!" It was tough. I ate pickles like a fucking pickle monster. Then I had a whole cucumber. ALL the tomato soup I made, which was like 5 bowls (but it is so low in cals, that I could) and lots and lots of tea. But it felt like I just ate and ate and ate. Anyway, ended up at around 480. I would have liked it to be half that, buttttt it wasn't. I didn't binge. I didn't go crazy. So it's fine!

I am unfortunately craving carbs like a wild bear, so I am going to have pasta tonight. With pesto. Ohhh, and as per request I shall put the recipe for the soup and this pesto pasta up, but I swear they are soo easy it's not even worth it. Well, maybe I won't have pasta. But if I eat nothing today until then, then 300 cals of pasta won't be too bad right? Ahhhh and like I want mash potato, carbs carbs carbs. Fuck sakes. I am due for my period in about a week, maybe that's what the cravings are about. But it also means I will be Bloaty McWhale this weekend too. All that means though is less food for me.

It helps if I think that I need to take a step back from the eating thing. I'm like: You are a piece of toast. I am a 63.5kg Piggy. I can stomp on you and then you aren't so yummy looking anymore. Stomp stomp. Last night I just about cracked and so I took a piece of bread and was like, okay I'll just eat half of it. So I cut it in half and walked to the bin to throw half of it away. Then I was like... what if I just... oops I threw both halves away. Oh well. I didn't need the cals anyway. Oh right and I'm 1kg/2lbs down from yesterday. :) :) Happy happy. Hopefully I can be in the 62's tomorrow.

Fat Piggy Out! ^_^

Whoops & Loves
Xo Xo

7 comments:

Sam Lupin said...

I snort giggle! xD! It's very attractive. :P
*laughs* darling, you amuse me. <3
Ah. During a binge, 1,200 sounds natural. Now that I'm pretty in control, 1,200 calories sound like a horrid nightmare! It sounds like so much stuffing. I think 650 stuffs me most times!
Yes! I know how that feels! LETTUCE. Is just one of those things that I can eat and eat and feel so stuffed and it comes out at 57-60calories!
300 calories of pasta is definitely not that bad! :) It's rather good! ESPECIALLY for PASTA.
Oh.
The monthlies. Horrid things they are!
Yeah. I tend to do that sometimes. You're so indecisive sometimes!
Awesome! I hope you can be 62kg tomorrow too!
And I REALLY really hope the scale moves for me and you then! <3


-Sam Lupin

Haley said...

YOU. CRACK. ME. UP.

............I'm still laughingg!!

But seriousy, you're awesome for avoiding the binge, and for the weightloss.

Oh, and I FUCKING LOVE PESTO! pleassseeeee put the recipe up!!!

Okay that's all, I hope you have a great day, Miss AWESOME!

<3

brightday*b said...

Ha, pickle monster. Made me giggle, as I am a horrendous pickle monster. I've literally just eaten a handful of dill pickle chips. Lol!
I'm due my 'bad week' any time and I am so bloated and flabby and horrible, it's actually breaking my heart. Being stupidly emotional isn't helping either. Anyway, just be happy that you're at the stage where 1200 stuffs you. I can barely manage on 1200, I'm so hungry all the time (I do lots of weights, which is helping getting skinny but not helping being starving!), but my boyfriend is bringing up some protein shake for me in less than two weeks, so going to meal replace with that, until I start actually getting somewhere again. I literally had abs last week but now they're gone again. Sad face! I WILL get them back!
Looking forward to the soup recipe.
All the best, x

ednos Linny said...

I love the way you put things I love reading your blog! Carbs are my weakness they are always in my house and calling my name. Hope things get better and look forward to reading your blog tomorrow.

abbifa said...

i'm on my montly now and it's horrid, all i want to do is eat eat eat, and im trying so hard not to be grumpy because of it.
I can usually manage my day on 5-600 but at this time of the month it's soooo temping to bing, i could not throw away any kind of carbs right now so well done you....

xabbix

Beth said...

MMMMmmm I LOVE lettuce!!

bottomfeeder said...

I love you. XD

Pickles don't have calories, why you worrying??! Eat as many damn pickles as you want! I'm a pickle monster, too :3

And yea, 1200 sounds pretty feast like... O-o